By Any Means Necessary
by JeanGreyakaPhoenix
Summary: Last chapter up! Now that Logan asked Jean to marry him and Emma ofered to help Jean out, could it finally be their chance for a new life? Remember, life doesn't always please you with happy endings...
1. Only you

**I wrote this quickly so it must be rusty. You should know how this story came to my mind. I wrote the reason at the end if you want to know after you read the story.**

_Only you_

Jean was walking in the garden in the middle of the night, wearing a long sleeve shirt in the hot summer weather to hide the bruises on her arms and legs and neck and back and chest…

She walked in silence, when Logan came up to her. "Hi." He said and she looked up startled, panicking for a second. She sighed relived when she saw it was him and not who she thought.

"Logan." She whispered with a smile, stopping her pacing and watched him walk closer to her.

"How are ya?" He asked her as he stopped right besides her and wrapped an arm around her waist. She winced slightly when he touched one of her bruises and he let go immediately. "Sorry."

"That's ok." She whispered. They started walking towards the mansion but she stopped him, tugging his arm gently. "I need to talk to you."

Logan turned around and nodded. "OK, come sit here." He motioned to a bench near them. He knew that she liked to seat outside when she wanted to talk.

Jean just stared at him for a while, not knowing how to say this. "I don't know how to say this," She let him know. "So I'll just say everything that I've been running around my head all day long."

He smiled at her, gently reaching out to hold her closer like he knew she liked to, but she held out an arm to stop him. "I need to look into your eyes when I say this." She whispered and without warning sat down straddling his hips, her black jeans stretching around her legs. She sat looking at him straight into his deep blue eyes.

"I have never met anybody like you…" She whispered but he stopped her.

"Jean, you don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. So shut up and listen." She said coldly and he shut his mouth. She took a deep breath and went on. "You tried to brake into my heart without ever giving up and every time I walk away without a word it made you even stronger." She felt tears coming to her deep jade eyes as she said this. "No one else ever cared for me that much and you didn't stop after all the times I tried to push you away."

Logan held her closer when a few tears rolled down her cheeks. "And in the nights that I am scared of the darkness of my own room you are always there to keep me company and scare my fears away and you just hold me, and never ask for anything in returns."

She let out a sob and closed her eyes, more tears falling.

"And when I think about the things that still happen today I cry in regret and hurt about everything I've done and she's done and still does to me…" Jean couldn't sob anymore and leaned against his chest and sobbed. "You are there to hold me and sooth my pains and tears and I don't know were I would be without you." She murmured between her sobs.

"Jean…" Logan whispered but she cut him off.

"Please Logan, if I don't say these now I'll never be able to say it so just listen!" Jean cried.

"Ok, I'm sorry." He whispered and stroked her hair.

"So long has passed and we've been through so much together as just friends side by side in everything everyday and you know all of my fears and pains and lies…" Jean paused, sniffing and restraining her sobs. "You know my painful memories of the days I was abused and you try to help me now but you know I'm so far gone in sorrow, so many years being beaten without reason and today it still happens and I know how much it kills you to know that there's nothing you can do to stop it." Jean sobbed and Logan held her tighter, his chest clenching painfully for her and her pain.

"Every time after she beats me and I can't move from the pain you are always there when no one else cares…" Jean lifted her head from his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck, there noses almost touching. Logan had to do everything in his power to keep himself from kissing her.

"And now, no matter how hard I try to stop my fall, no matter how high I place the walls around my heart, no matter how much I'm afraid of falling in love…" Jean trailed off, knowing that if she kept talking right now while she cried he wouldn't be able to understand her.

After a few more wracking sobs, she slid her fingers into his hair, staring at him intensely. Slowly, so slowly, she kissed him, lips so soft against his. He pulled back slightly to look at her, tasting the salt of her tears on his lips. "What are you doing, Jeannie?" he whispered.

"I'm falling in love with you." She spoke softly letting out another sob, but then she shook her head. "The truth is I'm already in love with you."

He stared at her eyes deeply, not believing what he just heard. "God, Jean…" He kissed her before she could even register another thought. He kissed her hard, one hand coming up to tangle in her hair. She sucked in a surprised breath, and then relaxed into his embrace, her mouth opening under his, tongue sliding against his.

Jean moaned softly, never before had she been kissed with such urging. She knew Logan loved her and urged for her for a long time now. She never really knew how much she wanted him until about a year ago. There was nothing he could do, but he always told her that by Any Means Necessary he was going to find a way to stop her misery. But she knew, there was nothing he could do.

How today she came to finally get the courage to tell him, she didn't know. He was the only person in the world that really cared for her and worried for her and was there for her every time she was beaten brutally.

After an eternity, she pulled away from the passionate kiss gasping for air, and he held her even closer if that was possible. "I love you so much Jeannie."

**Should I write a sequel? I don't know…**

**I wish there was someone in my life like Logan in this story, someone that was there for me and helped me. But there is no one in my life and that's why I wrote this. What I did was reflect my pain as Jean, and my wish as Logan. So what I think is really great about this story is that is actually true as in Jean but only a wish as in Logan. **


	2. In the Dark

_In the Dark_

The next morning, Jean sat down on a stool in the kitchen after pouring herself the last of the orange juice. Ororo was seating right besides her and they were alone in the kitchen.

Jean never talked to anyone, because Patricia didn't like her communicating, so when Ororo asked her in a whisper how she was doing, Jean only shrugged.

8 years ago the Professor left the mansion in charge of Patricia Xavier, his daughter. She was very disturbed, and she hated her younger sister Tonya.

When the mansion was given to her, the Professor died about a week later in mysterious circumstances. Just the next week, Patricia shut down the school and started her own business with the money she inhered.

Of course, Scott, Ororo and Jean knew that Patricia had killed him so that she could get the money.

And it was the perfect crime, she used her powers and he had a rare attack that killed him within seconds, just like she killed her sister when she was 17. No one ever suspected her, not even her father, but the trio knew.

Jean Grey was 12 at the time, Ororo Munroe was 11 and Scott Summers was 10. Patricia treated them nicely, but then Jean started growing into a woman, she started to remind Patricia of her younger sister who made her life hell since she was born.

And it started so simple. Patricia just occasionally pushed Jean when she did her homework wrong, but one day, when Jean was almost 13, Patricia slapped her across the room when she accidentally spilled some soda on Patricia's skirt.

From that day, Scott and Ororo tried not to provoke Patricia but she beat them too sometimes. Jean was the one that suffered everyday and was blamed for everything, like Patricia was blamed for everything in her house by her younger sister.

Patricia was a powerful mutant; she could control the human-mutant body from the inside out with just her mind, which made it impossible for the 3 to fight back.

She was also a strong telepath, and that's the reason why neither of the three ever succeeded escaping. The tow times they tried to escape, once together then separately, she tracked them with her mind.

The first time she just beat them, but the second time she used her powers and disturbed Scott's mutant gene, which caused him to loose control of his powers and which is the reason why he has to wear the red glasses. What she did to Jean was disturb her powers, and slow them down, which is why to this day she can't use her telepathy. Before she beat them that day, Ororo had the ability to walk with her mind, which allowed her to stand on a spot but her mind to be someplace else, but Patricia killed that power in her.

Scott was 14 then, Jean 16 and Ororo 15.

Jean's 20th birthday was in 3 days, but she could car less. Ororo was almost 19 and Scott was on his way to 18 today.

They might have grown and become stronger, but there was nothing anyone could do stop Patricia.

4 years ago, Patricia brought a man named Hank McCoy and a woman named Moira MacTaggert to help her with her hotel business. One of those days, Hank came to the mansion trying to carry and unconscious Logan, which was how Jean first saw him.

Hank McCoy helped Logan recover from his injuries which he got cage fighting. How and where and why Hank found him was still a question to Jean and Logan.

After Jean saw his wounds heal, she was amazed and asked Hank who he was. He just told her that he was a lost animal. Logan was about to leave when he woke up but then he caught sent of Jean and when he saw her…

_A 16- year old Grey Jean was seating in the lab pretending to be doing her science homework but she was really staring at the sleeping man. She couldn't take her eyes off his broad chest and muscular arms and hairy face and all there was left for her to wonder about as what color were his eyes. _

_She stood up from her chair and walked closer to him, wincing slightly when the bruise on her leg protested. She was passing a desk when he suddenly opened his eyes and sat up in a rush. She immediately ducked behind the desk and watched secretly how the man looked around the room with a confused expression. She could see his deep blue eyes and her lips parted amazed at their beauty, even if she was actually a few feet away from him. _

_He swung his legs to the side and stood up, ripping off the medical tubes attached to him. He then started to sniff the air and without warning turned to the desk she was hiding under and stalked towards her. _

_Her heart skipped in high gear and she hugged her self like she always did when she knew Patricia was about to beat her. _

_She tried to hide more under the desk but before she knew it he had pulled her out roughly and she cried out in fear, clenching her eyes shut. "Please, don't!"_

_But he didn't hurt her, he didn't move, he just stood there holding her trembling body tightly. Jean opened her eyes slowly, panting slightly, not knowing what he was going to do to her. _

_He just stared at her in awe, staring deep into her jade-green eyes; the expression on his face was of admiration. Slowly, so slowly he let go of her, still staring at her. Jean was still panting scared._

_When he reached out with one hand, she gasped and clenched her eyes shut again, expecting the worst. Ever so softly he traced the side of her face with the tip of his fingers. Jeans eyes shot open at the touch and her breath caught in her throat in shock and surprise of the gentleness. _

_Her eyes moved to his hand when he did it again, this time stopping to stroke the side of her lip. Jean suddenly felt tightness in her chest and recognized she wasn't breathing, still waiting for him to lash out and hit her. She let out a deep shaky breath when he pulled his hand away and took a step back, then as if he had realized something, he turned around and ran out of the med-lab. _

_Jean's shaky legs gave out under her and she fell to the ground, breathing heavily and thanking God for saving her. _

_That night, Jean heard Hank McCoy speaking to the man that almost hit her earlier. His name seamed to be Logan. _

_Logan was telling Hank that he was going to leave. _

"_So soon? Why don't you stay and rest a bit longer…" Hank was saying but Logan cut him off. _

"_I think it is better this way, I know you're opening the big business and I don't wanna intrude." With that, Logan turned around and walked headed towards the door, towards her. _

_She moved away into the shadows quickly and he walked towards the door, followed by Hank. She hid under the stair case and saw as he opened the door, took a step out but then he stopped, and she felt the wind of the night whoosh into the mansion, reaching her and blowing a strand of red hair from her face. _

_Hank stared at Logan as he looked outside, then he looked at the staircase inside. She could have sworn that he was looking directly at her in the dark, directly into her jade green eyes with his blue glowing-in-the-dark ones. _

_Then he stepped back into the mansion and closed the door. "Maybe I will stay." _


	3. Feeling your pain

**Thank you so much for the reviews, and I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to thank you the chapter before but my mom came home earlier than I expected… Thanks a lot anyway.**

_Feeling your pain_

Jean still sat in the kitchen with her orange juice, and Ororo was still besides her eating some eggs. When Ororo finished, she got up silently and put her plate in the dishwasher, then walked out of the kitchen just as Logan came in. Storm lowered her head so that he wouldn't see the bruise on her cheek that she tried to hide with her silver hair.

Jean turned around on her stool when Logan came in and she gave a weak smile with a "Hey."

"Hi," He also smiled and sat besides her. He wanted to kiss her but he didn't know if he should. Yes, they had confessed their love for each other the night before and had kissed for what seamed and eternity but it had been only a few minutes, but then he had walked her back to her room and that was it. He didn't really know where they stood and plus, Patricia or someone else could see them and Jean would be the one to suffer. So he pushed his desires down and simply asked her how she slept.

"Surprisingly well." She answered him in a whisper. She always spoke softly, in hushed tones and whispers. Even when Patricia beat her she kept her voice down because she had learned that her begging cries only seamed to make Patricia beat her harder.

She looked at him with the same Mona Lisa smile, her hair hanging loosely from her head, a few strands on her face. She looked so beautiful...

Suddenly, Jean leaned in and have him a soft but sure kiss on the lips. Before he could return it she pulled away. "I was thinking about when we met." She whispered.

Logan thought back and nodded. "You thought I was going to hit you."

Jean bit her lower lip. "Yeah."

They stayed silent for a few minutes before she spoke again in the same hushed tone. "Why did you stay?"

He looked at her for a few seconds confused. "What?"

"Why did you stay?" She repeated. "I know you were about to leave."

Logan thought back again and sighed heavily. "I don't know, I just..." He trailed off, trying to figure out how to explain what he felt that day. He sighed heavily again. "I sensed someone close by when I woke up and I was ready to lash at whoever it was there but then I saw you and... ... I was just so taken by you." He whispered the last few words while staring deeply into her gorgeous eyes.

"But that wasn't all," Jean stated knowingly.

"No." Logan shook his head. "I smelled your fear, and it wasn't the kind of fear I was used to smelling when anyone saw me. It was different. You were terrified. Actually you were more than terrified, you were shaking all over, and I could smell your pain and I saw the bruise on your neck..." He paused, feeling anger rise writhing him as he talked. "I had to know what was wrong."

"But you were at the door, you were leaving, why did you suddenly change your mind when you saw me in the dark?" Jean asked rather frustrated for an answer.

Logan scoffed. "I really don't know Jean. My gut just told me that there was more to it and when I saw you in the dark I knew I had to stay."

Jean's smile widened a little. "I didn't even know that you saw me in the dark until about a year later."

Out of the blue, Patricia came storming into the kitchen and every muscle in Jean's body tensed. She sat up straight on her chair and held her glass tightly, while Logan acted as normal as he could so that Patricia wouldn't know he was talking to Jean.

Patricia went straight to the refrigerator and opened it roughly. Jean looked down at her glass trying to keep calm. When the woman pocked her head out of the fridge she looked straight at Jean and the glass in her hand. "Did you drink the last of the juice?"

Jean looked up frightened. Yes she had. "I... I..." Jean didn't know what to answer her, scared to death already.

"You know when I ask you a question I expect you to give me a straight answer!?" Patricia barked at her.

Jean stared at Patricia with the most frightened look ever and gave a short nod. "Yes."

Patricia gave her an intimidating look before she turned around, looking into the fridge again. "And the last of the eggs too." She said looking up and slamming the fridge door closed.

A shiver ran down Jean's spine and she gripped her glass tightly. "No, I didn't, it was…"

"Why do you always try to blame it on others!?" Patricia screamed and Jean jumped slightly, pulling a face before tears gathered in her eyes. "And don't you give me that pathetic look!" Patricia yelled.

Logan was aching to just let out his claws which were pushing against his skin from the inside wanting to just kill the woman, but he knew that if he tried to stop the situation, which at the moment seamed to still have the chance to end with Patricia walking away, he would make it worse.

Jean was shaking with fear as Patricia gave her a piercing look and Jean was on the verge of tears.

"Make me something to eat and then clean up this fucking kitchen before I beat the crap out of you!" Patricia ordered her and Jean was up in her feet immediately.

Patricia sat down as Jean started cooking something while breathing heavily and her vision blurry, tears now running down her cheeks, her whole body tight with fear.

She made some potatoes and some sausages, then put the warm plate in front of Patricia with shaky hands.

Patricia looked at the food with a disgusted look and looked up at Jean. "I'm supposed to eat this with my hands?"

Jean went over to the drawer and got her a fork and a knife after she understood what she meant.

Jean just stood there as Patricia started eating. Jean gave Logan a look from time to time, her lower lip quivering uncontrollably. She could see that he was breathing faster than normal, also scared that Patricia was going to hit her.

"Are you expecting me to choke here?" Patricia suddenly said and looked up at Jean who gave her a scared confused look. "Get me something to drink stupid!"

Jean moved to the coffee maker, putting it to work.

"Coffee?" Patricia barked. "You want me to drink coffee?"

Jean looked at her panting. "The-there's nothing else." She whispered with an unsteady tone.

"Then get some fucking water!"

Jean did just that, tuning off the coffee maker and bringing her some water.

Patricia took a sip and went on eating. Again, Jean just stood there shaking even more than before. She could see just how much Logan wanted to interfere but the begging look in her eyes stopped him with a low growl.

Patricia looked at him with a cynical look. "What's with you?"

Logan had to hold on to every single strand of control inside him, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. "Nothing." He shrugged and gave Jean a look when Patricia turned back to her food.

After a few seconds, Patricia looked up at Jean. "Are you just gonna stand there like a sick bitch?" She asked her with an angry glare and Jean look back at her with the same frightened and confused look. She really didn't know what to do. "Seat down!" Patricia screamed so loud that Jean had to bite her lip to keep from crying out with fear, seating down on a stool as close to Logan as she could without Patricia getting the wrong idea, or the right one.

When Patricia finished eating and put her plate in the dishwasher, she turned back to Jean. "So?"

Jean looked at her with a frown. "Um… What?" Jean murmured scared.

"Are you just gonna hang on to your stupid lies?" Patricia asked her in a mocking tone. "Like 'I didn't eat the last of the eggs'?"

"But I didn't, I really didn't…"

Patricia roared angrily and stalked towards Jean with her fists clenched and this one jumped off her stool with a sob and hugged her self tightly.

"Hey!" Logan tried to intervene by jumping between Patricia and Jean but Patricia used her powers and send him against the wall. He growled as he felt a clenching pain in his brain as Patricia used her powers on him and Jean screamed "stop it!" Patricia finally knocked him out and continued towards Jean who had squirmed into a corner and was sobbing loudly, tears streaming down her face.

When Logan finally regained consciousness about and hour later, the first thing he felt was an agonizing headache and the cold floor under him. He opened his eyes very slowly to look up at the ceiling of the kitchen. Confused, he tried to remember what happened as he started to hear strange noises. Little by little they started to sound like a faint sobbing. _Sobbing? _Why would he be hearing that?

Like a rush it all came back to him and he sat up quickly. The sobs became louder and he turned to see Jean lying on the floor sobbing, her face facing the ground and her arms hugged tightly around herself. There was some blood on the floor right besides her.

"Oh God... Jean." He was besides her instantly, doing his best to ignore his headache. He gently touched her shoulder and she jumped, looking up at him. There was blood on her lips and nose and tears streamed down her face. His heart clenched tightly at the unbearable sight. "Jean..."

"Logan." She sobbed even louder and threw her arms around him, holding on to him for dear life. He held her as close as possible as she sobbed into his shoulder, and he wanted to cry too. He felt so helpless like this, not being able to do anything to help her or save her.

He clenched his eyes shut and held her even tighter if possible, a tear running down his cheek.


	4. Tender Love

_Tender Love_

Ever so slowly, he had picked her up and brought her up to her room, sitting her on her bed and cleaning the blood on her face with a wet towel he got from her bathroom.

He treated her with such tenderness that it threatened to break her heart, gently cleaning the blood running down her nose and her broken lips. She lifted her head slightly and he cleaned the crimson lines that had reached her neck.

Her sobs had stopped and he cupped her face tenderly, looking at her with pained eyes. She gave him the same look and leaned into his touch as new tears threatened to fall for the gentle love he felt for her and she for him.

He put the now blood-stained towel away and sat on the bed besides her, letting her rest her cheek against his rapidly beating heart with anger and pain and love.

She wrapped her arms around him and leaned against his chest as he lay down and wrapped one arm around her, bringing her half on top of him and rested his other hand on the back of her head.

Arms and legs tangled together, Jean felt safe in his warm embrace and the tears for their tender love fell silently.

He held her tighter, cuddled against her as close as possible, his mind fading away from the thoughts of hatred and only tangled in the feelings of love and pain for her.

She looked up at him from his chests and gently leaned in, kissing him so tenderly, reflecting her love for him in the gentle press of their lips, which soon became more passionate as she parted her lips to allow his tongue more freedom. He licked the insides of her mouths softly, stroking the back of her neck.

Jean looked deep into his blue eyes as she kissed him, pulling away for a second to take in a deep breath, then her lips were on his again.

His tongue slid into her mouth again, his tongue rubbed against hers lightly. He teased the roof of her mouth sharply moving down to caress the back of her teeth. Jean closed her eyes and sunk deeper into the kiss.

Then he pulled away gently, telling her to rest, and she did, relaxing her shoulders even more and resting her head against his beating heart, one hand moving up to rest on his chest and felt how he covered her soft hand with his own, tangling their fingers together.

Slowly, he heard her breathing calm down even more and knew she was asleep. Soon, sleep caught him in its grasp too.


	5. While you were away

_While you were away_

Hank never beat Jean, but he gave her looks that made her very insecure. He liked to stare at her chest and her backside, and Jean knew that he wanted to touch her. So Jean stayed as far away from him as possible.

But today that was impossible. She had to do lunch now or Patricia will make her pay and Hank was in the kitchen having coffee when she went inside.

Jean avoided his look and started looking through the cabins for something to cook. She felt how her shirt rode up a bit when she reached out to a higher cabin and left almost half her back naked. She felt his eyes burning into her and quickly decided to try and stay calm and cut some vegetables.

She stood opposite from him on the table but a little to the end so he couldn't see her backside, but as she cut the vegetables, he stared at her breasts.

When he got up and moved closer to her, Jean cut her finger a bit with the knife and quickly put it down to see her slightly bleeding finger.

"Need help with that?" Hank asked her huskily and moved much closer, and Jean took a step back, looking away.

"N-no, I'm fine." She stuttered, but before she could react he had grabbed her wrist and watched her bleeding finger and she gasped scared, backing of again, her other hand trying to feel what she was backing off against.

"That's not a bad cut." Hank spoke in a tone that oozed sex and Jean found herself shaking, trying to pull her hand away from his blue, furry grip as her other hand felt the surface of the wall and now he was pushing her against it.

Jean panted scared, fear tight in her chest as tears crept up her eyes. He pushed her against the wall completely and reached down for her leg.

He pulled her leg against him, ground himself to her and Jean whimpered, tears leaking down her cheeks, sobbing slightly, trying to push him away but he was much stronger than her. She thought about using her powers but she knew that if Patricia found out she would kill her. Plus, she started to feel sick and her powers seamed to not want to respond anyway.

"No…" Jean begged when he tried to kiss her but she managed to avoid it. "Please let me go."

He just pushed harder against her, and started to touch her inner thighs, his other hand sneaking into her blouse.

"No." Jean struggled but he kept her firm.

Desperate, she tried to use her telepathy, tried to call out for Logan, screaming his name in her mind.

"Stop!" Jean screamed and Hank slapped her, and then grabbed her tighter.

"One more word and I'll snap your neck!" He growled through gritted teeth and Jean sobbed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Patricia's voice startled Hank and he let go of Jean who almost fell but stood as still as she could, half thanking God for Patricia showing up and the other half scared to death of her.

"I…" Hank didn't know what to say as he stepped away from Jean and Patricia looked back and forth between them with her hands on her hips.

"Jean?" Patricia addressed her and Jean froze, her heart threatening to pound out of her chest.

"Nothing, he…" Jean wanted to tell Patricia what Hank was doing but Hank cut in.

"I told her to stop, she just kept pushing."

Jean stared at him with shock. "I did not." She whimpered.

"Why don't you let me have a minute with Jean?" Patricia said to Hank and this one nodded, leaving.

Patricia walked closer to Jean with an intimidating look, while this one panted hard.

Patricia slapped Jean hard, sending her to the floor with a cry. "What the hell were you doing?!"

"I swear, it wasn't me!" Jean cried, supporting her weigh on the floor with one arm, instantly covering her face with the other arm.

Patricia kicked her in the stomach and Jean cried, the pain making her fall the ground completely, eyes clenched as tears fell and she cried out again.

Patricia kneeled in front of Jean, grabbing her chin hard, forcing Jean to look at her.

"You stop playing the bitch," Patricia said through gritted teeth, watching Jean's tears fall and sob. "I don't need you fucking around with every man in the city! You hear me!" Patricia yelled and Jean sobbed louder, only able to nod because she couldn't find her voice.

"I don't want to see you playing whore again!" Patricia practically screamed. "All right?!"

Jean nodded, not even thinking about telling her what really happen anymore.

Patricia let go of Jean's face roughly, then just kneeled there, staring at her as a thought crossed her mind.

"I'm gonna ask Moira to run a few tests on you." Patricia said as she grabbed Jean's neck and squishing a bit, cutting her airway slightly, "If I found out you're not a virgin anymore," pulling her face close, she pressed her cheek against Jean's and hissed in her ear with gritted teeth: "I'm gonna let Hank do anything he wants with you."

Jean whimpered, sobbing and trying to breathe. "Understand?" Patricia hissed and Jean nodded once again.

Patricia let go of Jean and left as Jean coughed, taking in deep breaths as she sobbed. She let her head rest on the floor and curled up into a ball while sobbing.

* * *

Later that night, Jean lay in her bed staring at the clock, not being able to sleep. It was past 12 am when there was a very gentle knock on her door.

Jean panicked for a second, but then relaxed a bit when she heard Logan's voice call her name from the other side. "Come in." Jean said and Logan opened the door slowly.

"Hi, I just got back." Logan came inside and closed the door behind him. "I wanted to check on you and I heard ya were still awake, so…"

Jean sat up in her bed slowly as he came to seat besides her, and he smelled how nervous she was. "Are you all right?"

Jean took a deep breath. "No." She whispered.

Logan lay down besides her and let her cuddle against him, feeling how she relaxed a bit in his embrace. She looked into his eyes and told him all that happened while he was down town doing some business for Patricia. Working for her was the only way she let him stay, and he didn't wanna leave Jean so he did Patricia's dirty work mostly, just like Hank, and Patricia forced Jean, Scott and Ororo to help with the work.

Logan stared at her with widened eyes when she finished and held her when she started sobbing. "And... are you still a…" He felt really uncomfortable asking her that question.

Jean looked up form his chest and sat up a bit, leaning against him and playing with his shirt. "Well… yeah." Jean whispered, not wanting to meet his eyes. "You've been in my life since I was 16 and you never saw me go out with anyone and before you came, I never… and the first kiss I've ever had is with you." Jean explained. "And you're the first person that's ever touched me… like when you touch my hips and my legs and my back…" Jean listed with a dreamy look in her eyes. She liked it when he touched her with such gentleness; it made her forget everything around her.

Logan nodded understanding and kissed her gently. "Then you shouldn't be nervous about the exams." He told her after breaking the kiss.

"But Hank… that's not gonna stop him." Jean whispered with a frightened tone. "And Patricia thinks I'm a total whore."

Logan pulled her closer, stroking her back just the way she like it. "I won't let him touch you."


	6. Not happening

**Lacey, I wanted you to know how thankful I am for your support. I look forward to your reviews because you're the one that really makes me go forward. Thank you. And thanks to Stacy M. too. You are the only one that has reviewed twice, save for Lacey. Thanks to the others too and please keep reviewing. **

_**Jean grey aka Phoenix **_

* * *

_Not happening_

Logan was lying in bed reading a book when Jean suddenly burst into his room crying, holding her chest as tears streamed down her face.

Panic rose in his chest and he was at her side immediately, barely there on time to hold her as she collapsed.

"Jeannie, what happened?" He asked her as she cried, whimpers and sobs escaping her lips as she held on to him for dear life.

He pulled her up and carried her over to the bed, seating down and holding her shaking form on his lap.

He could smell the fear in her chest, the tightness she felt as more whimpers of dread were pushed out from her chest. She tried to calm down, but she just cried harder, her mouth open as loud sobs reflected terror.

He waited until she calmed down a little, stroking her back and holding her close and rocking her back and forth gently, whispering soothing words in her ear.

She swallowed hard, sniffling and letting out a shaky breath as her lower lip trembled. "I-I-"Jean couldn't find her voice, so she took another deep breath, letting it out slowly but it finished as a small sob and she started crying on his shoulder again.

"Shh… honey, calm down." Logan whispered in her ear. Jean cursed the tight knob in her chest that crushed her painfully, making her cry more and more.

"She's going to kill me." Jean barely managed to utter out this words before starting to cry again.

Logan just held her tighter, knowing she meant Patricia.

After an eternity, Jean calmed down enough to talk. "I was cleaning Patricia's study, and I found some scented candles. Since the study had a weird smell, I lit some and put them on the computer monitor." Jean let out another sob. "I didn't know what was going to happen, I really didn't know!"

"Why? What happened?" Logan asked her with a confused look on his face.

Jean sobbed again, her chest clenching so tight and painful that she pressed her hand against it harder, trying to make the feeling go away. "When I went to put them away, I found that they had burned some holes on the top of the monitor!" She sobbed, closing her eyes for a second, more tears rolling down her red cheeks. "She's going to kill me! How can I be so stupid?" She nearly screamed in anger. In her head, she had said over and over again that this wasn't happening, that she was going to wake up any second and hadn't cleaned Patricia's study yet, and she hadn't lit those candles and put them on top of the monitor. "She's going to kill me." Jean sobbed again.

"But, how bad is it?" Logan asked her, trying to soother her again, but he knew this was probably too big to get out of.

"Logan! It's horrible. They're eight huge black burned holes on top of her monitor!" Jean cried. "And she's going to be back in less than 6 hours! I don't know what she's going to do to me!" Jean was terrified. Never before had she done such a stupidity, she really didn't know how much Patricia was going to punish her and it scared her to death.

She couldn't stop crying, she couldn't stop shaking, she couldn't stop thinking about her possible punishment, she couldn't stop saying in her head over and over again that this wasn't happening and it was all a bad dream. Her sobs were loud, sounding as little whimpers and small cries choking her.

_This isn't happening this isn't happening this isn't happening this isn't happening…_

She kept repeating over and over again, but as Logan held her closer and stroked her back, she realized how real this was and cried harder, knowing that in only less than 6 hours Patricia was going to be home…


	7. God’s way of saying ‘I’ll take you away’

**Thanks for the reviews guys and sorry I haven't updated, but I've been writing the other stories. So sorry and please read and review! **

_**Jean grey aka Phoenix **_

_God's way of saying 'I'll take you away'_

Jean bit her nails as she sat on the floor by the door, an arm around herself, her left leg pulled up and her right foot moving in concord with a melody she was making in her head, a song she started to make a few months ago about Logan. It calmed her a lot to think about it and the lyrics she put in it and the melody she made up… She started to hum it very silently as she waited for Patricia. She did everything she could to stop the feeling in her stomach of a clock going backwards, counting down the minutes until she showed up.

When the front door burst open and swung violently and hit her since she was seating right besides it, she grunted and was on her feet immediately, that slight calm feeling that she had had a few seconds ago completely gone now.

She bit her lip as Patricia turned to her with a strange frown, taking off her sun glasses to take a better look at her. "What the hell are you doing seating by the door?" She had a very expensive white coat on and black pants, her brown hair loose and most of it on her face. If the situation was any different, Jean would have laughed because she looked like Cruela Devil. "Haven't I talked to you about answering me when I ask you something?" Patricia snapped and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I-I" Jean new she had to say something right now. "I was waiting for you."

"And why is that?" asked the older woman while starting to walk towards the mansion, followed by her assistant and Jean right after.

"I-I did something--and I…" Jean didn't know how to explain herself.

Patricia stopped and her assistant Antonia almost bumped into her. Patricia turned around slowly, giving Jean a look that sends shivers down the read-head's spine. "What did you do?"

Jean started panting, shaking all over. "I-I didn't know what was…" Jean trailed off, tears now rolling down her cheeks, some strands of her long raid hair which reached the small of her back, hung on her face and Jean tensed when Patricia came closer and roughly pushed her red hair back on her shoulder. It was a thing about Patricia; she liked to look into her eyes when she was scared.

"What.Did.You.Do?" Patricia asked her slowly, puncturing the words harshly but hushed.

Jean shivered again and started stammering, not making any sense and Patricia snapped. "I asked you a question Jean Elizabeth Grey!"

Jean jumped slightly and the words rushed out of her "I burned the top of your computer monitor."

Patricia only stared at her for a long time before giving a short laugh. "What?"

Jean bit her lip, her fingers trembling as she played with the hem of her shirt. "I-I was lighting scented candles, and I put them on top of the computer monitor, but I swear, I didn't know what was going to happen." Jean said while trying to stop her tears from falling.

Patricia didn't say a word, she just turned around and walked over to her office, followed by her assistant and Jean, who pressed herself against the wall and waited as Patricia saw the damage.

"Oh My God!" She yelled. "What the hell were you thinking?" She was still staring at her monitor while Jean was on the other side of the room, against the wall, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Are you fucking insane?" Patricia yelled angrily and dropped the bag in her hand to grab the stapler, and threw it Jean but she ducked and it hit the wall. Jean was shaking with fear as she crouched down on the floor and saying silent prayers, when Patricia's assistant intervened.

"Uh… Miss, you have a plane to catch," She said quickly, hopping to get Jean out of this situation without Patricia suspecting they were friends.

"When?" Patricia asked and still had her eyes on Jean, determined to make her suffer, even a little bit.

"In less than an hour, we have to leave now." The younger woman said quickly, her worried eyes also on Jean.

It was a miracle to Jean when Patricia simply left; telling her that when she was back she'd better had changed the monitor.

* * *

That night, after changing the monitor on Patricia's desk, Jean went to her room and grabbed her guitar and her notebook; playing and making notes of the song she called 'By Any Means Necessary'.

About an hour later, she decided to play another one, one she had finished not long ago, called' Take me Away'. She really like that one, it was slow, like most of her songs, and a little harsh…

_I'm feeling like I'm drowning in this storm, _

_I don't think I have a chance anymore,_

_This pain and fear is taking over me, _

_Today I say to you Please, take me away._

_I can't take this anymore,_

_This life couldn't have been meant for me no, no_

_The only thing that keeps me sane is you by my side,_

_And I say Please take me away tonight_

_How many times does Hell have to reach my side?_

_How many times does the world have to turn to black?_

_How many times does Heaven have to bleed my tears?_

_How many times do I have to say Please take me away?_

_But life isn't like a movie you see in the theater,_

_It can't all end with a happy ending no, no_

_I know it is impossible to run, _

_But I ask you anyway to Please take me away_

_Away from this fear screaming pain and sorrow_

_Away from this Hell of pure regret_

_Away from this place I have to call my home_

_Away, away… Please take me away… _

_How many times does Hell have to reach my side?_

_How many times does the world have to turn to black?_

_How many times does Heaven have to bleed my tears?_

_How many times do I have to say Please take me away?_

_Oh, Uh-Oh, Please just take me away… _

_I know that someday,_

_We'll go hand in hand,_

_Running away from all of this Uh-Oh… _

_I know I have sinned, _

_But not to deserve something like this_

_Is you by my side God's way of saying _

'_I'm looking after you, I'll take you from this'_

_How many times does Hell have to reach my side?_

_How many times does the world have to turn to black?_

_How many times does Heaven have to bleed my tears?_

_How many times do I have to say Please take me away?_

_How many times does Hell have to reach my side?_

_How many times does the world have to turn to black?_

_How many times does Heaven have to bleed my tears?_

_How many times do I have to say Please take me away?_

_Please take me away_

"Nice." Jean was startled by Logan's voice from the door way, he was just standing there looking at her with those blue eyes which she liked to drown in.

"Thanks." She said and put her guitar down with shaky hands, giving him a shy look.

He chuckled and walked over to her, closing the door behind him. "You have a pretty voice." He knelled in front of her and kissed her before she could answer.

She couldn't explain that feeling when they kissed, it was just… Amazing. His tongue probing her lips lightly before pushing past them and into her sweet mouth, the way he put his hand on the back of her neck and caressed her face with his other hand, the way he held her… She couldn't explain the peace she felt.

When he pulled away there was a slight smile on her lips and her eyes were closed, and she opened them to see his blue ones, not wanting to ever look away and she knew, that yes, he was God's way of saying 'I'll take you away from this'.

"Do you wanna go out for dinner?" He asked her and she chuckled.

"Just because she isn't home doesn't mean we can just get out of the mansion whenever we want." Jean retorted, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Who said anything about leaving the mansion grounds?" He asked with a shrug and pulled her to her feet gently, holding her hand.

"Then what do you mean?" Jean asked curiously.

"The woods, we can have a picnic there." He said while walking outside with her.

"What?" Jean asked with a smile. "A picnic at this hour?" It was past 10pm.

"Well why not? You haven't eaten dinner and you haven't been out in ages, she won't be back until next week, so… why not?"

Jean thought about it for a while, but decided it might be fun. "All right."

Yes, indeed, he was God's way of saying 'I'll take you away'…

* * *

**So what did you think? Was it ok? Reviews! I really did write that song, and soon you'll see the song 'By Any Means Necessary'. Tell me what you think of 'Take me Away'**


	8. Fairness

**Do you guys think the same as ****SunnySusan****? Do you think it's stupid? Do you think I should stop? I thought you guys liked it… Does it really suck? I wrote this chapter and it sounds a little bit like and ending but I had so much more planned for the story, but if you really thinks it sucks then… consider this an ending. **

_**Jean Grey aka Phoenix**_

_Fairness_

Jean laughed as she held her glass of red wine in her left hand and covered her mouth with her right hand, seating on a blanket on the grass in the far end of the woods besides a sparkling-under-the-stars lake she didn't even know existed until Logan brought her there under the glooming night, illuminated only by the star light and the four candles they brought.

It was almost past midnight and they sat across each other, already eaten the sandwiches and the salad and now just talking and drinking wine. Jean couldn't stop laughing at the story he just told her.

"I swear it." He groaned when she laughed more and said she didn't believe him.

"But it's so stupid!" She laughed.

"I swear that's what happened! I got up, grabbed my jacket, accidentally knocked over the candle stick that was on the counter and the guy's hair caught on fire." He repeated the story in the short version while taking a sip of his wine.

Jean laughed some more and shook her head, licking her lips before finally stopping her mad laughter. "Remember when I was in LA? I called you from a bathroom at a rest stop."

Logan nodded. "Yeah, just a couple of months ago."

Jean chuckled. "Yeah, well after I hung up, I was still in the stall when I hear someone outside say 'How's it going?'" Jean paused and took a sip of her wine. "I didn't know what else to do but answer." Jena chuckled remembering how funny it was. "Then the woman asked 'What are you doing'" And I'm so confused, I mean, I'm in a bathroom stall, what's her problem asking me something like that." And Jean laughed, making Logan frown, not understanding her laughter. "And then she says 'I'll call you back later, every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me'" Jean finished while laughing and Logan joined her. "I was so embarrassed; she was talking on the phone not to me! I just wanted to die." Jean said and laughed harder, brought on Logan's own laughter.

It was almost 1am when they ran out of wine and Jean and Logan still talked and laughed, until Jean said. "Do you realize we just had our very first date?"

Logan thought for a few seconds before saying. "Does that mean I have to pay for dinner?"

Jean slapped him playfully on the arm and he took her hand before she pulled away and with a quick yank he pulled her closer to him and she shrieked and laughed when she fell on top of him, straddling his hips. "It's the best date of the century." Logan murmured against her ear and kissed her.

"Mm… You got that right." Jean said against his lips, closing her eyes when he started stroking the small of her back. When she deepened the kiss and buried her fingers in his dark hair, Logan couldn't help but thrust his hips up, grinding his groin against hers. She broke away her lips from his to moan, her eyes flying open to meet his.

She smiled softly and kissed him again, thrusting back. She had never done anything like this before, she didn't really know what she was doing, her body just moved on its own accord. Logan was so patient with her, not asking more than what she was wiling to give, and even as she wanted to give herself to him, she was afraid to disappoint him because she really didn't know how to do this. When he kissed her more urgently, she figured she must have done something right.

He rolled them over and she gasped, feeling his weigh on her. She was very nervous when the soft caresses deepened, stroking the sides of her hips and one hand moving to stroke her inner thigh. She felt a strange kind of bliss dawn her body, like every time she was really close to him or every time they kissed, but much stronger.

Then he stopped, pulling away from her and seating up, shaking his head. "Wait, stop." He said and Jean sat up too, looking at him confused. She started to feel scared, thinking she did something wrong.

"What's wrong?" She asked in a soft, quivering whisper and he suddenly became aware that she was frightened.

Slowly, he pulled her onto his lap and held her. "I don't want us to do this, not yet anyway." He whispered in her ear.

"Oh…" Jean closed her eyes, her cheeks reddening to the color of her crimson hair. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No." Logan reassured her. "It's just that… Even if I've known you for so long and love you with all my heart, I think you should wait, we should wait until things are easier."

Jean frowned but gave a shy, insecure smile when she got what he meant. "I understand but…" She didn't know if to say it, she knew he hated it when she said stuff like that. "But things aren't gonna get easier, they're not gonna change."

Logan groaned. "Don't say that."

"But it's the truth. We can't get away from her." A very bad feeling started to rush into her chest as she continued, saying something she had been thinking about for quite some time. "And it isn't fair that you're here, ruining your life for me."

Logan scoffed. "Jeannie that's bullshit."

"No Logan, it's not bullshit." She said harshly, something very strange in her. She expressed her anger in her songs or with Scott when he pissed her off with his stupidities or she took it out on herself, but never put an angry face to Logan… that changed tonight as she got out of his warm embrace and stood up. "It's reality. You are here only because of me when you could be out there in the world."

Logan got up too, trying to get close to her but she pulled away. "Jeannie, I'm here because I want to be, because I want to be here with you."

"Ok, then let's put that 'wanting to be with me' on the table." She said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest and stood her ground. "You're not even with me for real, you just said you want to wait fro things to get easier but it's never gonna happen! This is as easy as it gets and you better start understanding that." She said a little louder than she intended but she didn't really care.

"We will get away from this, I promise." He said, trying to get her to calm down.

"No Logan, there is no 'we' here, it's me who's stuck here. You're free to go." She said loudly. She didn't want to do this, she really didn't, but she couldn't live knowing that the man she loved was brining himself down with her only for her, and it wasn't fair for her to accept it. He could have a real life, not this. "You're free to go and you should."

Logan chuckled, not believing he was hearing this. "Jeannie, I think you had too much wine. I love you." When he tried to get closer to her again she once again pulled away.

"Maybe so, but it isn't worth it, I'm not worth it! I'm locked up here, I'm a prisoner and I'm fucked up!" She yelled. "I can't ever give you a real life, a real family, a real anything! I can't even kiss you during the day because someone could see us!" She was really worked up, in truth a little intoxicated by the alcohol. "You can be happier without me holding you down. I shouldn't be holding you down, I have no right to." Her chest started to clench painfully and she sobbed, feeling a knot I her throat. "I shouldn't have let you fall in love with me…" And with that she broke down in tears, his arms braking her fall as they both sank to the ground.

"That's not true Red, you have every right. You have my heart, you have my soul, I'll be with you forever, I could never be happy without you, I need to be here with you." He said to her as she sobbed into his shoulder while he held her tightly, stroking her hair.

"Now you're fucked up, just like me." Jean sobbed. "I never wanted that, I love you, I don't want you to suffer like I do, I know how much it kills you to see me hurt…"

Logan held her even tighter if possible. "If you're asking me to leave, to leave you alone here, you can forget about it, I'm never leaving you Jeannie, not now not ever, not even if Hell freezes over." And then he kissed her, but she didn't kiss him back, she just stood there with her eyes open and her lips slightly parted. When Logan pulled away, he shook his had. "What you're doing to me right now it's what's gonna fuck me up… You're the one that tries to make it difficult."

Jean closed her eyes for a brief second. "I'm only doing it so that you open your eyes and see reality like I do, like it is. A fucking disaster, that's what it is, and it's something that I'm never gonna get out of. But you can, and I love you too much to see the pain I bring you when I'm hurt, so please…" Jean let out a sob, opening her eyes. "Please make me happy and go out to the world, find someone for real and live your life." Jean tried to stop her tears but it wasn't working. "Just go."

"That isn't fair." Logan said as he felt her tear his heart apart. "What you're saying isn't fair."

Jean looked into his blue eyes intensely, bringing him down with her green, determined, pained eyes. "Fairness isn't in my blood."

She gave him a kiss to end all kisses, a deep kiss with so much finality that Logan held her closer, tightening his arms around her and never wanting to let go. But Jean pulled away, from his arms from his kiss from his space and tried her best to rip herself away from his soul and his heart, then turned around and walked away, towards the mansion, leaving Logan to stand under the stars in the woods.

* * *

**It isn't what I planned, I have so much planned, I don't want Jean to stay in abuse forever, but if it really sucks, then this is the end… **


	9. Not the End I Planed

**Thank you guys so much for the reviews, it made me feel so much better. You're right; I shouldn't throw it all away for one lousy retard. I can't believe I have 43 reviews, makes me so happy. I can't wait for more. **

**Well, just read this chapter and don't forget to tell me what you think guys! **

* * *

_Not the End I Planed _

Jean sat on the edge of her bed smoking a cigarette, the slim ones, staring into emptiness. She hadn't smoked since she and Logan first kissed, but she had to admit she was drunk and stressed out. Just 20 minutes ago she left him in the woods, probably still stunned.

As she finished her cigarette and lit another one, taking a sip from her beer bottle, she let tears fall, desperate tears as she felt her heart tear apart and her head spin. The taste of the beer mixing with the late taste of red wine combined with the sharp pull inside of her mouth as she smoked, and the smell of heavy fume in her room was making her sick to her stomach but she could care less.

It wasn't long until she threw up, barely making it to the bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet, Jean wretched and let the contents of her stomach yank out of her and spill, making her throat burn and fill her eyes with tears. When she finally stopped, she grabbed a towel with her mind as she sat on the ground and leaned against the wall flaccidly, cleaning her face. She couldn't see clearly, all she heard was someone coming in.

"Jesus Christ, Jean." Logan exclaimed when he saw her on the floor, half open eyes and breathing heavily. He was at her side immediately, kneeling besides her.

Jean groaned when he touched her face. "Go away!" She said hoarsely, feeling her throat burn.

Logan took the towel from her hand and cleaned her mouth, but just a few seconds later she was throwing up again. He brushed back her hair and stroked her back as she couched, spilling her dinner, wine and beer and most likely every meal that week down the toilet.

When he felt her muscles relax slightly under his hands, he knew that she was done and slowly cleaned her face again, getting up quickly to get the bottle of water laying on her nightstand. She received it and took a big amount and spit it out, couching again and sobbing at the horrible pain on her throat.

He slowly helped her up but just the second she was on her feet her knees gave out under her and he had to hold her tightly. Jean couldn't form a coherent thought and she tried to brake away from his grip. "Let me go." She moaned out, her hands gripping the edge of the sink, and she leaned over it with his help. She had her eyes closed as she tried to turn the water on and he did it for her. She tried splashing water on her face but she couldn't even make her hand go the right way or her eyes open.

He helped her clean up, and then he carried her to her bed. "Put me down!" She cried, trying to hit him but she couldn't focus. "Let me go!"

He put her down on the bed and grabbed her shoulders, making her look at him. "No! I'm never gonna let you go, not ever." He told her, trying to make her understand. "I love you."

Jean shook her head, looking away, tears coming to her eyes. "Just leave." She whispered out.

"I can't do that." He growled, desperate to make her see, make her understand how much he loved her and wanted to be with her no matter what. "You know I can't do that."

Jean let out a wrecked sob, hot tears streaming down her face. "You deserve better than this…" She managed to open her eyes and look at him, the pain and determination in her eyes breaking his heart. "Please, I can't be with you because it isn't fair to you. I want you to leave"

"No, Jeannie please don't say that." He begged her, feeling his eyes blur with tears. He pressed his forehead against hers, clenching his eyes and gripping at her shoulders a little too hard. "Please don't say that." He wasn't willing to let her go, he wasn't going to let her do this to him.

Jean pulled away as much as she could, letting out another sob along with more tears, feeling a horrible headache make the room spin. The effect of the alcohol was taking over her like a wave, more than before, making everything hazy. "I love you but I can't…" That was all she was able to say before she passed out.

* * *

Two days later, Jean had been avoiding Logan, staying away and he tried to stay away, but it was too hard.

Jean was hanging on to all of her control. She knew that if she stayed in the same room with him for too long or give him a chance to talk, she would fall into his arms. She loved him, so much that it clenched her soul and gripped her heart, so much that it hurt.

But it wasn't fair, he deserved better than her, better than to be locked up because of her, be tamed and controlled… She loved him too much to have to see the pain in his eyes when she cried in remorse and desperation and pain or when she simply looked down at herself and realized that this was real, this was her life, this was her punishment for something, something she had done, but what? Maybe something she did in another life or something she doesn't remember?

But he didn't leave her alone, that morning he went straight to her room when Scott and Storm had gone out to do whatever it was Patricia called them to do; when the mansion was empty, he stormed into her room and confronted her. "You can't do this to me Jean!" He yelled.

Jean was on her couch looking at a book, just staring at it because she couldn't focus enough to read it, not with everything going on in her head. She jumped when he stormed in and surprise was shielded by pain and pain was left standing in shame when anger took over for his discourtesy, but pain still standing high. "How dare you force in on me like that?!"

"You have no right to do this to me!" He ignored her subject and growled at her, stepping closer to her. "You can't just throw everything away!"

"I'm not throwing anything away because there was nothing to throw away!" Jean yelled back, trying to hurt him with words, anything to keep him away. She shouldn't have let him so close, she shouldn't have let him fall in love with her, this mess was all her fault.

"There is everything to throw away! There is years of trust in each other, years of pent up love, years of my life that I have lived as if everything else in my past, every painful memory of my past never existed!" He yelled so loud he actually scared her, but if there was one thing she knew was that he would never hurt her, not ever.

"It might have been real for you!" She shouted, not knowing if she should say this. She paused, reflecting on how he would never hurt her, not like she was doing. She shouldn't say this, she knew she shouldn't, it was going to kill him and it was a lie… She really shouldn't say it… "I DON'T LOVE YOU!" The moment the words came out she regretted them, tears coming up to her eyes even if she tried to fight them away. "I never did!" She sobbed out the words, knowing how bug a lie that was. "This isn't fair to you." That was true.

"You're dam right it isn't!" He stepped closer, a millimeter away from her. "You know you love me and I love you." His loud enraged voice dropped to a low growl that sent shivers down her spine. "All this years, they meant as much to you as they meant to me, you can't just decide that I'm not right for you and tell me to leave."

"I never said that!" Jean yelled, a tear escaping her eyes and her face was flushed, trying desperately to keep her voice strong and determined, trying not to brake down and say what was in her heart. "You don't deserve me, I'm nothing, I'm nothing to the world, I'm just a Cinderella that has to do everything she's told so that she can get something to eat and a place to sleep! No one cares if I'm alive or dead!"

"See, that's where you're wrong. I care, I care about you Jeannie, I love you with all my heart and I'm not letting you do this." He said to her firmly. "I don't care if this is all I'll ever have, all _we'll_ ever have. I don't see a better chance out there, I just see myself with you."

"Oh, so you're sticking with me because there's no one else out there? No one else for the beast?" Jean asked him sarcastically, stepping away when her phone rang.

"I didn't mean it like that! You're the only one I love; you're the one I want to be with!" He yelled, not believing the twist she did to his words.

"Will you shut up?!" She yelled when she reached her phone and answered. "Hello?" After hearing the other side for a few seconds, she closed her eyes aggravated. "Ororo, now is not the time." She had to listen to more. "I said I can't talk right now." She was quiet for a few more seconds, listening. "I don't care what the fucking bitch said!" And with that she hung up, prepared to pay for that later. Patricia was going to be mad if she found out she said that.

Logan only stood there, staring at her, knowing full well what she was thinking. Patricia was going to kill her if she found out about what she just said. "Jeannie please..."

"I think you should leave." She cut him off before he could continue.

"No, you can't just tell me to get out." He said in a low growl.

Jean chuckled. "And now it's you that has to see where you're wrong." She whispered, trembling, nervous fingers stroking the phone, eyes blurry with tears, her voice on the verge of breaking. "You see, she might beat me and make my life hell and I might be fucked up and all," She said, her tears falling as she lowered her voice, knowing she was going to brake down any second. "But I still have command over this house when she's not here because I'm the oldest." She looked away from his gaze, trying to hold on to herself. "And I have the right to tell you that you're not welcome here anymore and that I want you out as soon as possible." She let out a sob, closing her eyes, tears rolling from her eyes to her chin.

"Jeannie…" He walked closer to her, reaching out to clean her tears, wash away her pain and anger and have her see the truth, but she jerked her face away.

"Just go." She said in a quivery, completely broken voice. "Now."

Staring at her in disbelieve, he stood in front of her for a long time, waiting for her to take her words back, but when she walked past him and opened the door for him, he could only walk away.

As soon as he was outside, Jean closed the door and leaned against, it, pulling a face as she looked up at the ceiling, before breaking down and letting go, first sobbing as quietly as she could but couldn't help it and got louder, until she gave up and letting it all out, screaming in agony, screaming and sobbing, clenching her fists, burying her hands in her hair and pulling at it like a crazy person, screaming again and again, desperately trying to release her clenching chest, her heart breaking out tears after tears, cry after cry, scream after scream…

* * *

That evening, when she couldn't let out anymore tears, when her throat was tired of screaming, she was simply laying by the door curled up into a little ball, when she decided that she better get up before Patricia got back. She had to go make dinner.

With all her strength, she managed to get up, get up and clean her face and walk outside.

As she walked down the hall, she found herself in front of Logan's room, stopping and watching. His door was open; he was opening his drawers and putting stuff into his bag.

She looked away, wanting to walk away but found herself walking into his room. He closed his bag and took a deep breath, turning around to look at her. "Jeannie, do you really want this?" He asked her softly, moving closer to her and looking deep into her eyes.

Jean hesitated, biting her lower lip until she was sure she drew blood, but she had to do this, it was better this way, better for him. "Yes." She barely spoke softly.

Logan closed his eyes and took a step away from her, fighting with himself, fighting the urge to pull her into his arms, kiss her and make her take it back, take it all back, but he knew he had to respect her decision. Opening his eyes, he grabbed his bag and stood right in front of her again. "Then I'm gone." He whispered and then walked past her, walked away.

After a while, she heard the sound of his motorcycle drive away, and she sighed. Why was she holding her breath? A pained breath or a relieved breath? Did she expect him to fight harder? Did she expect him to live up to his promise and never leave even if she forced him? Honestly, she did expect at least a bit more. She couldn't blame him.

But yes, she was relieved. He was going to get over her someday and find someone new, someone that could give him a real life. Fighting her tears, she knew she had to do it, she had to let him go and from now on she world never love anyone like that ever again. This was her life now, no hope, just like the story she detested as a child, Cinderella.

Slowly, she walked down to the kitchen and started making a soup. It was a long time later that she realized that she wasn't thinking, her hands were moving alone and that she was crying, silent tears dripping into the soup. "Shit." She cursed herself.

She needed a walk. Without another thought, she walked out of the mansion and towards the woods. She walked for what seamed an eternity, walking past the place they had had a picnic, walking without really watching her way, until she came upon a bridge. It was in ruins, dangerous. Frowning, she stared at it, and then she remembered why it was so familiar.

She had to have been about 11; it was winter and it had just finished snowing. She had just gotten to the mansion and was curious about the woods. She had wondered in and got lost. She came upon this small concrete bridge that led to the other side of the lake and hoping that crossing it would lead her back to the mansion, she had decided to cross it. It looked perfectly safe, but once she got to the middle of it, she slipped on the icy surface and as she tripped against the sides, the small ramparts instead of protecting her drop broke completely when she fell against them and she went straight into the lake with a scream. The water was freezing but not frozen and it was deep, too deep and she was drowning. If it hadn't been for that student that liked hanging around those parts, she wouldn't be here today.

"Oh God." Jean exclaimed as she remembered, but then she chuckled. After she got out alive she had been so grateful, thanking God for giving her another chance to live, but today as she looked at the broken bridge, she wondered if she was supposed to die that day, if God had done that so that he could take her away and she wouldn't have to live through all this pain. Maybe that student was there by mistake.

She sighed, an idea striking her. She never really thought about that kind of stuff because she knew she wouldn't dare, she couldn't bring herself to take her own life with a scalpel or the gun hidden in her office for emergencies. Back then she thought about it a lot, even got everything ready once, the tub full of cold water, loud music, fine scalpels, pills and a bottle of Jack Daniels, but she couldn't bring the scalpel to her wrists, or swallow that many pills, and the liqueur only made her sick, it didn't have effect with the drugs.

She had stopped trying when she met Logan, because something told her there was hope. But now, he was gone, and there was no hope, why did she ever let herself think there was? With tentative steps, she walked closer to the bridge. It was late at night, it was autumn, and she was wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt, her hair loose.

She wondered if she should just get it over with, end this suffering. As she walked closer, she was tempted to try once again, try to see if she could escape this, escape her miserable life.

She took a deep breath, standing a foot away from the crack where she fell as a young girl. She could escape, leave this torment, die and be gone. Suicide wasn't the way she hoped it would all end; she used to have some hope, but not anymore. Killing herself hadn't been in her list of endings. She thought maybe Patricia would die and she would be free, or Patricia would magically have a change of heart, or maybe Logan would take her away… But no, he deserved better than to wait.

As she climbed onto the banister, she had no expression on her face, just a blank mask of vulnerability. She knew that it was deep and she wasn't a good swimmer. As for her powers, if she became desperate to get out of the water and tried to use them, they probably wouldn't work anyway, she'll die before she manages to take control… It'll take a while, she'll try to swim, try to get to the edge but it was kind of far, and the bridge not low enough for her to get a hold of, she'll probably swallow some water and choke, she might even make it out alive, who knew?

That was it, as she stood upright and balanced on the thin, fragile banister; she decided this was going to be her end, the end. _Not the End I Planned, but it will have to do_ She thought a little regretfully.

With a tear streaming down her face and a nervous smile on her face, she stretched her arms out at shoulder level by her sides, pressing her legs together firmly and she started speaking in hushed tones… "God, forgive me for I have sinned, I have broken the heart of the man I love but only to protect him… I have betrayed myself but only because it was the only way to survive… I have stolen form people… I have bared false witness more than once…" Letting out a sob she shook her head, knowing how ridiculous this might sound. "I have violated almost every one of the commandments, including murder, more than 10 persons and now myself." She opened her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I ask you to forgive me, please, and when you get the chance… Tell Logan how much I love him." She said the last words in a mare whisper, closing her eyes and letting tears fall.

She looked down, hoping that God forgave her and she wasn't going to Hell, she had had enough of it here on Earth. "I love you Logan." She whispered to herself before closing her eyes and leaning forward just enough and she felt herself starting to fall, felt her hair being blown back as she fell and then she was inside the chilly water. She stayed under for as long as she could, but it wasn't long until she felt desperate to breathe… but she had been right, her powers weren't working, the shore wasn't close enough and she decided to just stay put… And that was the end she hadn't thought would be, definitely not the end that she had planned.

* * *

**So? I don't think the suicide scene came out right, a little too corny? Please, give me lots and lots of reviews! I love it! **


	10. What I really need

**Ok, I know it's been a little while since the last chapter, but not that long. So, I got 10 reviews and now I've got 53 in total, and I couldn't be happier. I've also got a lot of reviews on _Jean Grey it's not so Innocent_ although it's a totally different story. I just love getting so many reviews, it encourages me so much. The beginning of the Chap is very confusing, doesn't really make sense, but I want you to tell me what you think, so R&R please! **

_What I really need _

Nothing, there was nothing, just darkness, just a black screen. The feeling was numb, all over, cold, shivery, exhausting… Something forgotten, something never before, nothing ever done? Words, confusing, the world, puzzling. Struggling against dark chains, something, me? Being dragged away? Where? Fire? None of it, no burning flames, black, washing over red, washing over blood, nothing, just darkness, colder, colder, colder…

Dragging, pulled away, pushed, forced, begging… Scream, want to scream, want to cry… No feelings, just without sensation, just cold, just cold, just nothing but shadows. Tears, so many tears, they never stop, they just fall, and fall, and fall… Never stopping. Never? The word, absent, distant, bitter, frozen, mystifying…

Shattering, madness, memories, fading, no air, no sense. No, too much, too much of this, too much hurt, too much, too bitter, frozen, harsh, earth shattering pain. No, no, please, no. No more, don't want this, don't want this, don't want death. An abyss, falling, deep, dark, never ending, want to stop, stop falling… No, no… Help… Somebody help me. Make it go away, stop falling, don't want to fall, please, no more, want it to stop, stop falling, stop the bitterness, stop the fall, STOP!

Everything fading, away, forever, falling, too dark, no life, just death, just ghosts, all around… Scream, want to scream, can't find voice, struggling, struggling against the chains dragging, down, hard, fast, pulling, pushing, forcing, no sensation, just cold, cold, too cold… No, please, no more… Want to go back, life better than darkness like this, no, stop falling, stop, please stop…

Thought it was time, but no, not ready, not ready for death, don't want to die, still have hope, please, no, stop, stop falling… Pulling, pushing, forcing, scream, want to cry, can't feel anything… Just falling, fear, fear, too much fear, want it to stop, please, make it stop!

Scream, hearing screams, all around, cries, so many cries for help, can't find a way, can't pull away, try to fight, but the chains pull, push, forcing, bitter, freezing…

Scream, please, want to scream, stop pulling, don't want this, don't want death… Regret, shouldn't have done this, shouldn't have jumped; now falling, falling, falling, want to scream, can't, can't go back… Tears fall, but no noise, can't cry for help, want to cry for help, want to get away. No more, no more of this. Please, stop, stop it!

Lighter, it's lighter, chains pull, but something fights, not me, I'm weak, can't fight anymore, something else, pulling me back, back to the light, pulling hard, pulling me back, wining, wining the battle against the darkness…

* * *

Jean suddenly felt her chest heavy and finally coughed, coughing out water, empting her lungs of unwanted liquid and taking a deep, wanted breath that filled her lungs sharply and painfully, before she coughed again, harshly and took in another mouthful of air, breathing heavily while feeling the life being pulled back into her piece by piece.

She panted, her mouth open as she opened her eyes but everything was blurry, and she closed them again, coughing a little more. She felt lean fingers around her throat, feeling her pulse. Jean opened her eyes again, trying to find the source but her eyes hurt and she closed them again, still panting.

"Jean?" She heard a familiar, gentle voice as the slim fingers brushed a strand of her hair away from her face. "Jean, can you hear me?" The female voice was breaking, worry and fear and thick with tears.

Jean opened her eyes slowly, her breathing slightly calmer but her whole body was shaking. She had just been in the freezing water and now lay on the cold ground. She saw a blurry figure hovering over her, and as she focused, she made out a dark skinned woman with short silver hair and blue eyes. "'Ro." Jean gasped out, coughing again.

"Goddess, Jean what were you thinking?" Storm yelled, more in fear than anger as she hugged the socked woman tightly.

Jean felt tired, felt drained, and felt cared. Through still blurry eyes she made out Scott besides her too, the look on his face of pure concern and fear, his teary eyes hidden behind his glasses. He was scared too, scared of almost losing the red head he considered his sister.

After Storm let go of her and kissed her forehead, Scott stroked her face and picked her up into his arms, heading back to the mansion as Jean passed out.

* * *

Nothing, there was nothing, just darkness, just a black screen. The feeling was numb, all over, cold, shivery, exhausting… Something forgotten, something never before, nothing ever done? Words, confusing, the world, puzzling. Struggling against dark chains, something, me? Being dragged away? Where? Nothing, just darkness, colder, colder, colder… STOP!

Jean woke up with a scream, seating up in a rush, panting heavily as she felt sweet streaming from her forehead to her chin.

"Jean," She gasped at the voice and saw Ororo besides her, now wrapping her arms around her and holding her quivering body. "It's ok."

It took Jean a long time to recall what had happened, and to realize she was in the infirmary, seating on a med-bed, a thick blanket covering her and Storm was stroking her hair to calm her down from the nightmare, the memory of what she had gone through.

Jean gently lay back down, feeling Storm cleaning her forehead of the sweat. "Jean, are you all right?"

Jean nodded softly. "How-How long has it been?" Jean asked hoarsely.

"Just over 4 hours." Ororo answered her best friend, her sister by all means. "Jean, why…" The African woman didn't know if it was time to ask or not. "Why did you do this?"

Jean scoffed. "Isn't it obvious?"

Storm looked down. "I guess so." Yeah, not like she hadn't tried to do it before to get away from all this. The scars on the African woman's wrists said it all.

Suddenly Scott came in, a slightly panicked expression and the two women understood it. Not long after, the quick tap-tap of high hill shoes coming closer and closer broke the silence. And just a few seconds later Patricia came inside, stopping when she saw them.

The look on her face was one neither of them could read as she came closer to the med-bed Jean lay on. Jean didn't know what to think, only felt fear as the woman came closer, until she stood hovering above her. Patricia said nothing; she just grabbed the chart beside the med-bed and gave it a quick scan. After reading Jean's condition, she put the chart down and simply said. "I expect you back on your feet by Monday morning." Before walking out of the infirmary.

* * *

The next morning as she sat on the edge of the bed, her bare legs dangling while she put on the bra and the shirt Storm had brought her from her room, she felt numb, pain filling her heart.

She hadn't put her pants on yet, she just had a blanket around her legs as she finished putting on her shirt, when the med-lab doors opened. Jean could only stare at the man that stood there, with a broken heart.

Logan slowly walked closer to her, and she wrapped the blanket around her legs more tightly, gripping the hems. "Jean…" He broke the silence with the whisper of her name, standing just a foot away from her.

Jean looked away when he tried to meet her eyes. She didn't want him to see her eyes, not when they showed so much pain and fear and joy to see him.

"What are you doing here Logan?" Jean asked coldly, managing to put her pants on from under the blanket, and then putting it away as she now sat fully dressed on the edge of the med-bed, her legs still dangling, her knees apart.

"I-I…" Logan felt lost of words. "Ororo called me, told me what happened."

Jean frowned. "Why would she call you? As far as she's concerned you work for Patricia, she doesn't know about us, she wouldn't think you cared."

Logan looked down, running a hand through his hair. "She said that you called my name in your sleep."

Jean closed her eyes when he said this, her mouth widening slightly as she buried her face in her hands. "Fuck." She cursed herself, her stupidity and lack of control for every fucking thing in the world.

Logan laid his hand on her knee, making shivers run down her spine. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, but looked away just as fast. He reached out and pushed a strand of red hair behind her ear, and Jean moved her face away, just as he stroked her cheek. "When I heard, I was so afraid that you…" He couldn't finish the sentence; he just cupped the side of her face, even if she tried to pull away. "I came as fast as I could, I-I needed to see you."

Jean made a face before she let out a sob, feeling deep inside just in how much pain he was, how much fear he had gone through. She let out another sob.

He stroked her face a bit more, stepping much closer to her, in the space between her parted knees, standing so close, so that she knew it was useless to hide from him. "Jean," He whispered her name but she refused to look at him, refused to be affected by his touch, by his warm hand on her cheek, offering comfort and everything else she needed to go on. "Why? I mean, I understand you, but you promised me that you would never try this again." She knew all too well what he was talking about. Yes, just two years ago she had told him about the times she tried but couldn't make her hand budge and just slit her wrists, or her finger pull the trigger of the gun, and she had promised him to never ever try it again. He leaned closer if possible, until his forehead was almost pressed against her temple.

Jean sobbed again, this time a tear running down her cheek, and he cleaned it away quickly. "I guess I just needed to get away from it all." Jean said in a broken whisper, now gently turning to press her forehead against his, leaning against his touch, giving in. "I thought death was the only way I could get away, but…" Jean closed her eyes briefly, remembering the horrible feelings, the words, confusing, the world, puzzling, struggling against dark chains, being dragged away. She let out another sob. "But as soon as it grabbed me a regretted it, because I realized that it wasn't death that I really needed to get away…" She could feel his breath against her skin, warm as she spoke in whispers, tears streaming down her face. "I need you."

He cupped her face with both hands, looking intently into the oceans of green that were her eyes, and then he gently pressing his lips against hers, and she closed her eyes, a look of pure pain and love on her face as she felt his lips against hers ever so tenderly.

He pulled away after a few seconds, searching her face for an answer to his question, she opened her eyes and gently leaned in, kissing him almost as gently as he did, and his questions were answered.

**So? Was it ok? Review lots and lots! I'm gonna go order a pizza 'cause I'm hungry. **


	11. By Any Means Necessary

**Ok, ok, ok… I've had requests for Jean and Logan 'going all the way', so… You have to know that I have been trying to write their passionate night since chap3, but it's not that dam easy! So just read and review guys… Tell me what you think. **

_By Any Means Necessary_

It had been about a month after the incident, and since Patricia had gone back to Hong Kong to finish the deal that had been interrupted by the call she received from Scott explaining Jean's suicide attempt, Storm was working in LA, looking after the opening of the new club they owned, while Scott and Jean were in Manhattan for the day.

As Jean and Scott finally walked out of the meeting after closing a more than satisfying deal with one of the largest lines of hotels in the US, they went for some coffee.

The life they led was one of a successful 40-year-old business person, but since their minds had been tampered with by Patricia, plus the changes that had been made on their IDs and Passports, no one knew their real names or ages. As for another kind of industry, the dirty ones in the black market and weapons trade, they had other names… to the lives they led outside the mansion and against the law, Jean was known as Jessica Keys, Scott was Andrew Reyes, Storm was Elena Vasquez and Patricia was Dana Geller. As for Logan, he was always doing the spying tasks, so that they could get ahead.

It was a sunny Monday and Jean walked quickly, her red hair loose and she wore a black business suit, a white shirt under and expensive black hill shoes, her suitcase matching her clothes and she walked besides Scott who also wore a business suit.

As they were about to walk into the café, a woman coming over to them hurriedly made them stop. "Miss Keys!" The woman shouted again, glad to have gotten their attention and slowed down a bit, walking over to them. "Miss Keys, you forgot this." The young woman with brown eyes and brown hair with two strange white streaks at the front handed Jean a vanilla colored file.

Jean took the file from the young assistant wearing shoulder length gloves and opened it to see if it was hers. "Oh, thank you Marie." Jean said with a smile, not believing she could have forgotten such an important document.

"No problem." Marie waved of and smiled at Scott, who smiled back warmly. Jean may not be able to use her telepathy or see Scott's eyes, but she could see how the two looked at each other.

"We're gonna get a cup of coffee, would you like to join us?" Scott suddenly said and Jean shot him a look which he ignored.

Marie was obviously taken aback but smiled again. "I would love to." She said and the trio walked into the café. Jean was very uncomfortable; she knew that if Patricia found out, it wasn't going to be pretty. What was Scott thinking?

Jean decided that she wasn't going to go down that road, so she apologized and left, leaving Scott and Marie alone.

Jean took the BMW, leaving Scott to figure out a way to get back to Westchester, but he probably wasn't thinking about that as he flirted with Marie.

When she got to the mansion, she got a call and she answered with the head set. "Hello?"

"Jean, I need you to help me." Storm's voice was irritated and loud.

"What's wrong?" Jean asked worried.

"Well, I'm looking at the guest list here, but two very important guests haven't confirmed anything yet, and I need to know, but I forgot the contact numbers in my office." Storm explained, and Jean could tell she was pacing around.

"OK, tell me the names." Jean said as she made her way to Storm's office in the quiet mansion.

"Ok, the names are Remmy LeBeau and Katherine Pryde." Storm answered.

Jean went into Storm's office and after a bit found the contact sheet. "Come again?"

Storm repeated the names and Jean found them both. After giving them to Storm and hearing the woman's thanks, she went up to her room and took a shower.

* * *

That night, since Scott had stayed in Manhattan and Storm had to stay in LA for two more days, Jean was alone in the mansion.

It was past 10pm and Jean sat on her couch reading a book, dressed with sweat pants, a tank top and a sports jacket on top. She was concentrated on her reading and it took her a while to realize there was someone knocking on her door. "Come in."

Logan came in and she went over to him, kissing him. He had been away for the past 3 days in a facility somewhere in Vienna. If the mission he was sent on had been successful, then they could now very easily get over 10,000 dollars in exchange for their discretion about a dirty little secret.

They spent the next hour talking, Jean seating across from Logan. "Yeah, but come on, he's smarter than that, he knows he can't do that." Logan said.

"But if he liked her, can you blame him?" Jean retorted.

"Well first of all, they've only met about 3 times and all in business meetings, second of all, if Patricia ever found out…" Logan couldn't finish the sentence. "I mean, you should know how it feels, to be hiding from her all the time, fearing that she'll find out.'

"Well I have to say that I actually agree with him taking risks." Jean gave back. "How things are going lately, you never know when your last day will be, I agree with grabbing on to what we can get."

Logan looked away, recognizing the turn this conversation took. Jean stopped talking, also realizing what other meaning her words had had. Nervously, she fiddled with the hem of her jacket while staring into the fire. There was a long silence between them, and Jean finally broke it by letting him know that she had just finished a song she made for him. "Do you want to hear it?"

Logan nodded. "Yes, of course."

Smiling, Jean grabbed her guitar and sat back down, clearing her throat and starting a slow melody that quickly turned to a faster beat before she started signing in a low, gentle tone.

_While your tender touch threatens to break my heart_

_Your charming gentle voice is like a lullaby _

_There's no doubt in my mind or heart about our love_

_And while I'm wrapped around in your warm embrace _

She sang, first looking down only at her hands on the instrument, watching her movements as she sang, but then she looked up at him shyly.

_I can only think of being by your side forever and ever _

_Don't want this love to end_

_But first I need to know_

_Will you stay by my side?_

_Will you fight for my heart?_

_Will you miss me if I'm gone?_

_Will you love me for life?_

_Protecting me in your arms_

_By any means necessary_

_By any means necessary_

She paused her singing, playing the guitar as she searched his face for a reaction, but couldn't define the look in his face as she started to sing again

_And I can feel myself falling deep in your eyes_

_Feeling your silky gentle skin and lips I smile _

_I know I'm up and high in the sky touching stars _

_And I then I figure deep inside I already know _

_That I can't let you go, I want you by my side forever and ever _

She saw him smile and a smile was apparent on her face as she continued to sing, feeling much more confident now.

_Don't want the moment gone_

_But first I need to know _

_Will you stay by my side?_

_Will you fight for my heart?_

_Will you miss me if I'm gone?_

_Will you love me for life?_

_Protecting me in your arms_

_By any means necessary_

_By any means necessary_

She felt a little nervous and hesitant about the next words, but before she knew it she was singing them.

_My soul will be yours for eternity _

_You have given me so much _

_I can only see myself with you forever and ever_

'_Till the end of time _

_Please tell me that by any means necessary_

_We'll be together_

_I want to be with you_

_But first I need to know _

She looked into his eyes as she went on, hoping for an answer already.

_Will you stay by my side?_

_Will you fight for my heart?_

_Will you miss me if I'm gone?_

_Will you love me for life?_

_Protecting me in your arms_

_By any means necessary_

_By any means necessary_

_By any means necessary_

_By any means necessary_

As she finished playing the last note, she looked down again, feeling somewhat embarrassed. She put down her guitar and bit her lower lip, leaning back. "So… did you like it?" She asked timidly.

In loss of words, Logan moved over to her and kissed her deeply, urgently, he kissed her like never before. Jean gasped at the intensity, at the way he buried his hands in her hair and pressed her against him. She felt her entire body shiver, felt him kiss her so hard it almost hurt, but then he took a step away from her, closing his eyes and breathing hard, and she realized he was trying to control himself. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes and looked at her confused eyes. "I love you," Logan whispered but he knew she could hear him. "I promise I'll never stop loving you," He stroked her face gently. "and I swear I'll never leave you."

In a rush she kissed him again, wanting more tonight, wanting everything now that she was sure. Her jacket was on the floor just few seconds later, and he was laying her down on the floor in front of the fire place, kissing her more urgently, stroking her hips.

His lips moved down to her neck kissing her throat, biting her neck softly and Jean clenched her teeth, panting softly now.

He felt out of control and forced himself to stop. He quickly sat up closing his eyes, trying to calm down, but Jean didn't want to stop, she wanted him tonight. She reached out to him but he pulled away, surprising her. "Logan?"

"We can't do this Jean, not now, not tonight." Logan said as he stood up, Jean following him up.

"Why not?" Jean asked aggravated. "Why do you always reject me?"

"I'm not." Logan said quickly. "I just… I just don't think tonight is right for us." He tried to avoid her angry and hurt look as tears came to her eyes. She slowly sank back down to the ground, pulling her legs close. Logan kneeled down in front of her. "Jeannie please, don't be mad."

Jean looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes, feeling more than ashamed. Sighing, he got up and left quickly, not wanting to make things worst.

Jean only sat in front of the fire place a minute after he left before deciding that she was going to make this happen no matter what and quickly got up, cleaning away her tears and walking out of her room.

When she walked into his room, he was seating on his arm chair, his head in his hands before he turned to look at her. She closed the door behind her without another word, locking it and moving over to him.

"Jean…" She hushed him by kissing him, leaning down since he was seating. Logan pulled away from the kiss as gently as he could. "Jeannie, please…"

"Why?" Jean asked him again, straddling him, pressing her forehead against his, her lips just inches away from his. "Why?"

Logan closed his eyes, trying to turn way. "I… I can't," He whispered, panting hard as she looked into his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you."

Jean gradually pulled away, standing in front of him, looking deep into his eyes as she reached for the hem of her tank top and watched as his eyes burned into her body. Slowly, she took off her tank top, and saw how he watched as her hair cascaded back down behind her shoulders, her red hair like licking flames falling back down as she dropped the tank top to the side and her chest was left naked.

Jean took in a deep breath as the cold air hit her skin and shivered at the way he looked at her. "God, Jean." He whispered when she once again straddled him, watching as he looked at her, his breathing elaborated as he placed his hands on her hips and she gasped at the force he used, his hands griping her tightly.

Her face was flushed, her cheeks red with heat, her cherry lips parted slightly and her eyes… he looked deep into her eyes, seeing the anxiety and heat in them, full of passion, her pupils dilated and he kissed her, loosing more and more of his control. "God, Jean you're so beautiful." He whispered into her ear, gently stroking her back, pressing her hard against him, wanting nothing more than to touch her, but he was afraid, afraid to loose control and end up hurting her. His hands were shaking almost uncontrollably; his eyes clenched shut as he tried to control the animal in him that was urging him to take her.

She could sense it, she felt his feelings and with quivering hands, she reached out and took his hand in hers, moving it with hers, and he moaned loudly when she placed it over her breast. "Touch me." Jean whispered, not knowing if she should be asking for something she didn't know if was right.

Snapping, he growled and squeezed her breast, making her gasp loudly and throw her head back, closing her eyes, the look on her face priceless.

She had never felt like this before, feeling her entire body in flames, feeling fire and passion running through her veins like quicksilver, and her mind, she felt it out of control, felt her emotions taking over her, a dangerous sensation of power starting to burn in the back of her mind when he started stroking her sensitive breast, making her writhe and moan, fire burning in the back of her mind, feeling a strange sort of shields brake down.

Her hand was still over his on her breast, her eyes closed as he watched her face, watched the pleasure evident on her face as his other hand stroked the insides of her thighs over her pants. He kissed her intensely and she opened her eyes, looking into his eyes seeing him fighting with the beast, fighting for control.

Breaking off the kiss, and without thinking about it, he carried her to the bed. Despite her height and strength, it was as if she weighed nothing. He placed her gently on the bed and took of his shirt before he kissed her neck, inhaling deeply, breathing in her scent, her wonderful, sweet, arousing scent that drove the Wolverine mad with desire. He moved down, kissing her flat stomach and dipping his tongue into her navel.

Her hands were on his back, dragging her nails against his skin as gently as the sudden sense of power aloud. She felt his muscles tense under her touch, hearing his breathing elaborated.

Logan kissed the valley between her breasts and not being able to control himself any longer, he took one of her nipples into his mouth. She whimpered, spreading her legs so he could settle between them as he licked and sucked her nipples. Hearing her sounds of delight, he couldn't help but want more of her, and he pressed himself against her, hearing her gasp when she felt his arousal between her parted legs.

Jean panted hard when he stopped and kissed her lips, moving his hand down to her pants, running his finger on the waistband before tugging on it and started to push her sweat pants off. When her pants were also forgotten, she wrapped her legs around his waist, dragging her nails against his shoulders, but she felt a sudden rush of fire, and heard him growl as her nails ripped his skin and left a burning trail that quickly healed and he was kissing her again, his hand on her thigh, pressing her against him harder.

Jean didn't know what was happening, why she suddenly felt so much fire, but she loved the feeling and didn't bother thinking about it further, didn't bother wondering how she had burned him, she just did it again, adoring the sensation in her veins.

Logan moved his hand down between her legs, watching in her eyes how she started to feel scared. He knew this was the first time anyone had ever touched her like this, had ever touched her naked skin so intimately, had ever seen her naked body, had ever make her feel so much pleasure.

Jean gasped and closed her eyes when his hands moved into her panties, and then bit her lip when he ran one finger past her sex, touching her wetness. She moved her head to the side, clenching her eyes shut when he took off her panties, leaving her exposed to him completely. He kissed her neck and bit down softly. She gasped when he touched her sensitive clit, but didn't move at first, just looked at her face, at her strange expression and the thought of stopping crossed his mind, but she opened her eyes and looked at him with heated eyes. "Don't stop." She whispered and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him into a kiss.

Feeling more secure, he started to rub her gently and she moaned, pulling away from his lips while her head rolled back into the mattress. He rubbed her with two fingers, kissing her neck again, biting down gently from time to time, now moving one of his fingers to find her entrance.

When he did, he started to slowly thrust his finger inside and she whimpered, closing her legs a little, looking at him with worried eyes, hanging on to him for dear life. When the tip of his finger was inside of her, she started panting, looking into his eyes, knowing that she could thrust him but couldn't help try to close her legs again when he pushed deeper inside, and her mouth widened when his entire finger was inside of her, tears plain in her eyes.

She whimpered when he slowly pulled his finger out a little just to push it back in, and repeating this over and over again, until she got used to it and he could feel her relax, but then he thrust another finger in, just as slowly but still making her gasp and this time tears streamed down her face, stretching her for the very first time.

He tried to make the movement pleasant, but understood that for now it was just not something she was used to, so he kissed her, moving two fingers in and out of her, making her trash underneath him while he swallowed her moans and whimpers, pressing his lips against hers harder. Then he pulled his hand away, making her open her eyes and give him a confused look. She could see how scared he was of hurting her, so she undid his pants and pulled them down, asking him to continue. "Please…" Jean whispered, spreading her legs again, feeling his arousal against her, wanting to feel him, wanting to finally be with him.

Reaching down, he pressed his arousal against her entrance, panting heavily as she tensed up, wrapping her arms around his neck again, and trying not to shake so much.

Logan slowly pushed only the tip inside and she whimpered, her chest heaving as tears clouded her eyes. When he pushed in just a little bit more, Jean cried out, closing her eyes tightly and tears fell from her eyes. He panted hard, feeling her tightness and gently pushed in a bit more, watching as she bit her lips just as sob escaped her, her nails now digging into his shoulders.

Inch by inch he thrust into her until he was buried to the hilt and blood flowed from the wounds made by her nails on his skin as much as the place they now joined. She hadn't made another sound; just tears escaped her closed eyelids and her mouth was open.

After a few moments, he kissed her cheek, tasting her salty tears, grabbing on to every sense of control to keep himself from moving. "Jeannie…" He whispered out her name, and she opened her eyes, her mouth still wide, as if wanting to cry out but couldn't find her voice, so she wrapped her legs around his waist tightly, wanting him to go on. He pulled out an inch and thrust back in slowly and gently, another sob coming out of her open mouth, and then another one when he did it again. Even though her face was still screwed into a silent scream, he could see a hint of pleasure in her eyes.

He could make out she was still feeling pain, but even if tears still fell from her eyes, she started to try and move with him, reaching up and kissing him.

He started to move a little faster, still buried deep inside her as he moved, and she moaned, feeling her mind scream out to him, scream with pain that mingled with the most amazing pleasure she had ever felt, so intense and tormenting, his movements pushing her closer to an invisible edge that she couldn't reach yet but soon found herself wanting badly. The pleasure was increasing, topping the pain little by little…

The fire that had been cold because of the pain now burned her again and as she felt it tear through her veins, through her mind, she felt those strange shields start to burst down again, feeling so much power taking over her and she moaned again when he rolled them over together, so now they were on their sides.

He thrust into her from a different angle now and she cried out when he thrust and rubbed against a hot spot inside her, sending shocks of pleasure straight to her brain but that just made the fire in her more intense as she moved one leg on his hip, making him slip even deeper inside her if possible and she couldn't help but cry out, her nails digging into his skin again. Her other leg laid on the mattress as he moved into her slowly, pressing her thigh against him tightly, his fingers biting into her creamy skin while he kissed her more urgently.

Jean still had her mouth open as he thrust into her a little faster, now making her cry out every time he rubbed against the spot inside her, and soon she felt a firestorm inside her mind as she started to loose control.

Things in her room started to shake, the paintings on the walls clattering against the wall and the windows rattling violently. Some photo frames and a glass of water burst into pieces, the little pieces of glass falling to the ground in slow motion and the paintings fell off the wall when she screamed, coming for the first time in her life. As she felt her entire body shake with pleasure that mingled with pain and desperation, her throat burning as she couldn't stop her cries of pleasure, she clenched her eyes shut when she started to hear a strange voice in her head.

Logan rolled them over again so that he was on top and thrust faster into her but not too much, he still tried to control himself, not wanting to hurt her more than he already did.

_So beautiful… _Jean heard the voice in her head as he kept thrusting into her _Don't want to hurt her… Love her so much… _It wasn't long until Jean realized she was hearing his thoughts but didn't have time to think that through as she felt another orgasm on the hills of the last one, and flames licked her blood like an inferno.

She opened her eyes and he saw them flashed with fire, changing from her green eyes to pitch black for mare seconds and she came again, another scream ripping her throat and he came with her, groaning and looking deep into her eyes, not really registering the strange glimpse in her eyes as release overtook him and he collapsed on top of her, burying his face in her hair.

After what seamed like an eternity, they recovered and he gently pulled out of her, a moan escaping her lips. "I love you." Jean whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck again and kissing him.

"I love you too." He told her, pulling the sheets over them and hugging her close. "I love you so much."

She whispered into his ear. "This was… wow." She didn't know what to say, she could only seem to **feel** right now. She felt so much, she felt power, control, hunger for dominance, felt stronger, more confident… So strange, it was as if there had been a wall between her and whatever she was feeling a the moment, a wall between her and someone that could give her strength, a wall between her and Phoenix, a wall that had been torn down.

She looked at Logan, looked at his deep blue eyes, arms wrapping her arms around him, and they both fell asleep.

**Ok, I know the last few paragraphs sucked, but give me a break, this was really hard to write, so please give me lots and lots of reviews. What did you think of the song? Wrote it myself also. **


	12. Not even ashes

**Thank you guys so much for all the reviews!! **

_Not even ashes _

Jean sat on the cold sand, her legs crossed into the lotus position, her body wrapped around an almost transparent but red fabric. She sat in the middle of nowhere, cold sand all around her and going on and on for miles further into the desert.

Her crimson hair flowed with the harsh wind, her green eyes looking straight ahead. Only the sounds of the sand being disturbed by the ruthless wind could be heard, whistling against her ears and she knew a sandstorm was coming, and she knew there was no where to run, so she sat in peace in the middle of the desert.

She breathed calmly through her nose, slowly, her face a restless one. The fabrics around her form the only thing on her, and with the wind it flowed, like fire behind her, licking her back. Her hair like in flames, brushing her face ever so gently… She didn't move a muscle as she saw the wind blow the sand up, around, twisting it, making a storm coming her way.

She frowned when she felt a warm liquid running from her nose and then passing her lips to her chin… She put her hand under her chin to catch the liquid, seeing warm blood slowly dripping into the palm of her hand, bleeding down from her nose.

She waited for the blood to stop, but it didn't, it kept falling until the palm of her hand couldn't hold it anymore, and just then, she saw the sandstorm right in front of her eyes, but before it washed over her, she saw the shadow of a woman, a powerful woman reaching her hand out to her.

Jean looked down at her hand and found the small pool of blood that was there a second ago now gone, turned into sand. Jean looked at the shadow of the woman again, realized she was hiding in power, in fire, and when Jean took her offered hand, she closed her eyes tightly and screamed agonizingly as she heard it, the sharp cry of a Phoenix, like the cry of a hawk, but with much, much more supremacy and pride behind it, but painful as its power reached into her brain and tore her apart.

She gasped when the hand that held her now gripped her tightly and pulled her up, hugging her in slim arms and making the pain go away, showing her the simplicity of control until not even ashes remained, only power and when she opened her eyes to see the woman, she saw herself, Jean Grey but more powerful… Phoenix.

Jean gasped and opened her eyes, awakening form her dream. Sweat stuck to her body as she calmed her heavy breathing, staring at the darkness.

It was the fifth time this week that she had dreamed the exact same dream. She sat up slowly, her powers switching on the lights by there own accord, she didn't really command them to do so, they just did it.

She cleared her throat and rubbed her eyes, adjusting them to the new light, her clock marking 3am. She shook her head, sighing deeply. She hadn't been able to sleep for many nights now.

She had sensed a change in herself the morning after she and Logan… well, she sensed a change in the deep depths of her mind, but even if it was there, she couldn't see it clearly.

It had been only 2 weeks, and after that night, a mental link had been established between their minds. It was an amazing feeling to be so connected, in mind, body and soul. Logan loved her, and now, every time he said it, she felt it, felt the overwhelming power of his feelings across their link and it flooded her completely.

Since their thoughts were connected at all times now, she figured that by now he would notice she had been awaken by the dream again. He was somewhere in Japan right now, on a mission and he should be back tomorrow, but even so far away, her powers allowed her to see him and still feel him.

Her powers had been scaring her, acting on their own, in small gestures but enough to make her shiver, since Patricia had forbidden the use of her powers.

Like yesterday, she had been close to Storm and then started hearing her thoughts, but Storm wasn't even directing them, Jean just started to feel them.

Jean closed her eyes and rubbed them again, knowing that she wouldn't find any sleep soon, so she stood up and put on her robe.

She walked down to the kitchen and started to heat up some water for tea. She stared at the fire under the pot, and frowned, feeling momentarily dizzy before she felt a warm liquid running from her nose and then passing her lips to her chin… She put her hand under her chin to catch the liquid, seeing warm blood slowly dripping into the palm of her hand, bleeding down from her nose.

She frowned, breathing heavily when pain started to curl up her spine, looking around confused when the cabinets started to rattle before she cried out and grabbed her head hard, the glasses, mugs and plates breaking into pieces with her cry, and fire blinded her, eyes closed tightly as power tore her apart and the window burst in an explosion and the water in the pot started to bubble violently before evaporating within seconds.

She screamed when she heard the cry of the Phoenix in her head, and everything in the room started to move as if there was a tornado but with no wind, just everything moving in the air without direction.

The door slammed open and Storm came in running followed by Scott and shortly after Patricia. Storm and Scott tried to help Jean who had collapsed on the ground and held her head as everything around moved in the air.

Patricia moved over to Jean with a strange look on her face. She kneeled on the ground besides Jean, grabbing her wrists in a tight grip. "Jean!" She knew the redhead was out of control.

She tried to enter her mind but there were so many blocks, blocks so powerful that she couldn't break. She tried harder, pushing into her mind, knowing that it will cause her pain and maybe that would bring her back to her senses. When she pushed harder Jean screamed in pain but everything fell back to the ground peacefully and Jean's face relaxed, a small moan of pain escaping her lips before she passed out.

* * *

A few hours later, Jean woke up in the medical wing, feeling as if she had slept for days. She sat up and was grateful to see some water besides her. She drank it and was startled when Hank came in.

She wrapped her arms around herself when he came closer. "How do you feel?" He asked her.

"I'm fine." Jean replied and pulled away when he tried to touch her face. She got off the bed and grabbed a needle, pointing it at him. "Stay away from me."

Hank laughed. "Don't be so naïve Jean."

Jean gasped when he grabbed her wrists and made her let go of the needle, then scream when he lowered her to the ground. "Let me go!"

"When I get what's mine, I will." He said and pressed her hard against the ground.

Jean whimpered when he reached between her legs but she closed them tightly, sobbing as tears streamed down her face. "Stop, please!"

"Last time you were lucky, but today there's no one here but you and me." He wrapped his hands around her neck and groaned when she struggled. "So you can scream all you want, no ones gonna come and save you." He tried to hold her still but she was strong. "You're mine."

"No!" Jean cried hysterically when he pinned her arms above her head. "NO!!"

Out of the blue Jean felt a cry in her head, a cry that gripped her with power. She looked up at the man on top of her, not seeing a predator but a prey. "What makes you think I need saving?" It was not her voice that spoke the words, but a much darker force that decided to come out and play, sending a telekinetic wave that sent the beast on top of her flying backwards several feet until he hit the wall and fell hard.

Jean suddenly felt far away, isolated, only able to see but not do as Phoenix took over, showing dark eyes as she stalked over to the blue mutant who was still trying to catch his breath.

When Hank finally managed to stand up, he could only stare in shock at the creature in front of him. It looked like Jean, but it wasn't her. Her hair was made of fire, while her eyes were pitch black and a red aura of fire and power surrounded her skin. Her eyes only showed darkness and no mercy as with a simple swing of her hand he was up against the wall with an invisible force around his neck.

Phoenix glared at him as she walked closer. When she clenched her fists, the force around his neck tightened and he started gagging since it closed his airway. When she stood right in front of him, the force around his neck was replaced by her hand which burned him like lava, evaporating his skin into smoke. He wanted to scream but couldn't even breathe.

"I don't belong to you." Phoenix growled into his ear and when she made sure he understood, she let her fire burn him and watched with satisfaction until nothing of him was left, not even ashes.

Phoenix gasped and closed her eyes, then opened them again as Jean. Jean gasped again and felt to her knees. Fire surrounded her body and she tried to control it, absorbing it back into her body. She clenched her fists, staring at her hands, watching in wonder how the power hid behind her fingers, to her knuckles and into her blood, until only her creamy flesh was left.

She panted heavily, her eyes wide as she stared at the ground. Her power had consumed everything, not even ashes were left… She had done that. "Me." She whispered to herself. "Not even ashes."

* * *

About an hour later, Jean was upstairs, still stunned. She had already made lunch, so she was in the kitchen.

With determination, she made a metallic spoon come over to her with her powers. She stared at it hovering in front of her, and concentrating, she slowly made it bend to her will. Jean watched as it twisted, then slowly started melting. She gasped when her blood started to run like lava and the melted metal was soon nothing more than ashes, and shortly after, nothing was left.

She was startled by the sound of a motor coming closer, and ran to the garage, knowing it was Logan, and because of their link, he probably knew everything that had happened.

As soon as she saw him she ran into his arms, sobbing silently as he held her tightly. "I killed him." Jean whispered, shame and a strange satisfaction and pride clouding her.

"I know." Logan said, stroking her back.

Jean pulled away, looking at him with worried eyes. "What am I gonna do?"

Before anything else could be said, they heard a car and both pocked their heads out to see who it was and recognized Patricia's BMW.

Jean stepped away from Logan's arms and went up to the kitchen, setting a plate for Patricia and herself. Lunchtime was the time Patricia chose to speak to Jean about knew assignments.

Not long after, the woman came in with Storm by her side. So Jean set another place. When the three sat down, Patricia surprisingly did not choose to speak to Jean, but to Storm. Jean soon realized that later that afternoon she was gonna have to go to her office, where Patricia would most likely question her about her powers. She expected fear to take over her but the fire in her was too much to deal with and that was the last thing in her mind.

_This is really good _Jean looked up when she heard this, but didn't know where it came from. She looked at Storm who was eating quickly, while Patricia gave her orders.

"And then I need you in DC," Patricia suddenly said turning to Jean who nodded immediately.

_DC? I thought Jean had to go to Boston. _Jean's head snapped to the side as she heard this. "Boston?" Jean asked aloud.

"What?" Storm spoke surprised. _I just said that. Did she also know? _

"Who said anything about Boston?" Patricia asked them both.

_But you said earlier about a mission to Boston, I thought Jean had to go. _Jean looked at Storm, frowning. _Why is she looking at me like that? _

"Stop that." Jean demanded, putting a hand on her forehead to clear her head. _What's wrong with her? _

"Jean?" Storm asked confused. _Is she still confused form what happened earlier? _

"No I'm not." Jean said, not understanding what was happening. What was she hearing?

"Jean." Patricia said firmly and the redhead looked up at her. _I knew she had been using her powers, how else could she be displaying so much power? _

"No, I haven't." Jean said, defending herself, because she hadn't, they were just taking over her.

Jean shrieked when Patricia slapped her. _How dare she get in my head? _

"I wasn't, I'm not!" Jean cried out, fear now rising over the fire and took over her, making her tears fall.

Patricia blocked her away and hit her again. Storm quickly got out of the kitchen, panting scared.

"How long have you been practicing your powers!?" Patricia asked but Jean only shook her head, receiving another blow. She closed her eyes and tried to shield the pain away.

* * *

That night, Jean sat by the lake, holding her arm which still hurt like hell. She had a mild cut on her forehead, but it had stopped bleeding.

Jean had stopped crying after a while and then Logan had helped her up, but he was called away. So she was alone again and decided to sit by the lake, trembling slightly, a determined look on her face as she stared at the water. Her legs dangled in the water as she wore shorts and took in a deep breath as some drops of the water started to rise.

Her eyes burned into the water as more of it ascended, bit by bit rising, one drop coming up each second and each second her heart beating faster as she stumbled back to her feet when it rose higher, above her now as she stood straight, looking up with pitch black eyes and her blood flowed like lava, burning inside her and her face changed, into a dark one that would scare anyone away as her breath came in panted attempts as she tried to control the sway in her veins.

So much water, all above her, not one drop licking and she soon found her skin hotter than usual, her eyes flashing fire and Phoenix laughed a bit, watching the water in the air.

She smirked when the rocks and leaves and branches around started to elevate, leaving the ground and the law of gravity, everything around her now floating in the air.

Jean suddenly gasped and her eyes turned green, the Phoenix force engulfing around her, creating a red and golden aura of fire around her as she learned more about it.

She found herself dangling several feet off of the ground, her breathing much more aggravated and she felt a knot in her throat, not allowing her to breath and she fought for breath, until she couldn't take it anymore and let go, the water splashing right back to the earth and the things around her crashing back onto the ground, then her body was pulled back from the air to the ground by the strict law of gravity and she along with the power around her hit the earth with such force that it shook the ground and left her unconscious, blood streaming from her ears and nose.


	13. Just the beginning

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All right, last chapter I wrote it too quickly 'cause I wasn't in my own computer, I was in my aunts house in another city so I didn't write too well, but I'm hoping this chapter will make up for it. Please review lots and lots! I can't believe I have 102 reviews!!

* * *

_Just the beginning_

Logan landed the jet and headed to the infirmary, worry evident in his eyes.

When he got there, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Jean. She was laying on a med-bed with a thin blanket on her, her eyes closed and a needle pierced the skin on her hand, the IV connected to it. More wires were connected to her body, monitoring her heart rate and brain functions.

He walked over to her and touched her hand and then held it in his, stroking it gently. She looked so exhausted, even if she was like this. From what Storm told him on the phone, her powers had gone out of control and exhausted her, leaving her entire body in critical condition. Her pulse was weak, her brain waves abnormally erratic and she wasn't breathing well.

He looked at her with pained eyes, noticing how her chest rose and fell dangerously slow, as if she was not breathing at all, almost as if she was… No, he didn't want to think like that.

The part in his mind where she lingered across the link now felt cold, dark and empty, and when he tried to reach out to her he was met by countless of barriers made of fire.

He was more than worried; he was terrified for her, feeling completely helpless. "Jean?" He said her name in a mare whisper, half hoping that she would open her eyes but she didn't even flinch.

He brushed some of her hair behind her ear and felt how hot her skin was.

He heard footsteps from not too far away and looked up to see Moira join them, wearing her med-coat and a chart in her hands. She looked at him confused. "Logan?"

"Yeah?" He groaned, not liking the way she was looking at him. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just I didn't expect to see _you_ here." She answered, walking over to Jean's bed and checking the monitors.

Logan shrugged, trying to think of something to say without sounding suspicious. "Just wanted to see how she was."

"I didn't know you cared" Moira gave back, writing something down.

"Not really, but I'm curious." He said, not tearing his eyes off of Jean.

Moira gave him a disgusted look. "You're despicable. I know you don't care for anyone but yourself, but at least show some compassion." She said. "She's in pain."

Logan's breath caught in his throat. "She is?" He didn't really care what Moira said, she had no idea about the torment in his chest at the moment seeing the woman he loved in such a condition, but worse, in pain.

Moira sighed and gave him a sad look. "She's been in and out of consciousness for the past few days since we found her in the woods. Every time she opens her eyes she starts screaming and the monitors go crazy." She said, looking at Jean's form on the bed. "Her powers are driving her into a corner, forcing her to stay silent while they weaken her and take over." Moira paused for a minute before she said. "Last night the whole city went into a blackout for an hour."

Logan looked at Moira surprised. "She blacked out New York City?"

"With a simple thought." Logan turned at Patricia's voice while the woman came closer, the med-doors closing behind her. Patricia stopped when she was right besides Jean's bed. "That girl's been here more times this past month than in her entire life." Patricia said under her breath.

Logan ignored her comment. "But that's not possible, Jean's not that powerful."

Patricia turned to Logan with a strange look on her face. "You underestimate the Phoenix's power." She said matter of factually. "How brave of you. I'll like to be there when she proves you otherwise by ripping you apart and melting your adimantium in a matter of seconds."

A shiver ran down Logan's spine at her words, not knowing what to think. "What?"

Patricia smirked and turned to Jean, touching her forehead and pulling her hand away immediately as if she had been burned. "Her body temperature is rising, that can only mean one thing."

Moira nodded. "I think we should consider other options. I mean, what you suggest might not work."

Patricia only stared at Jean, shaking her head. "When she wakes up again, call me."

When Patricia turned to leave, Logan followed close behind her, demanding answers. She kept giving him short comments and he always asked again, and it wasn't until they almost reached her office that she turned to him and almost yelled. "Why do you care so much?"

"I'm curious." Logan gave back, doing his best to shield his thoughts and real emotions so that the telepath wouldn't pick up on them.

Patricia sighed, deciding to tell him so that he would leave her alone. Plus, since he had to keep a beast in his head as well, maybe he could help.

"When my father brought Jean here, she was 11-years-old. She was confused, she was troubled and she was dangerous. She didn't know how to control her powers and they controlled her." Patricia turned and entered her office, knowing Logan would follow her inside. She sat behind her desk and he sat on a chair in front of her. "So he, without Jean's approval, put a series of barriers in her head. But only a few, so that when they did their sessions, he could try to find a way to eliminate her powers. " She said quickly. "Jean was furious; he was in her head everyday against her will, holding her down until she was helpless and then saying it was for her own good."

Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Patricia smirked. "Yes, if you think I'm a monster, now you know its genetics."

Logan only glared at her and asked her to continue.

"Jean was a prisoner here, waiting until he invaded her mind again and praying that he would find a way so that he would stop." Patricia stood up and poured herself a glass of water. "Do you know that mind rape is a hundred times more traumatic and painful than physical rape? And by that I mean sexual harassment." Patricia said, drinking her water. "It would have been mercy if he simply touched her and violated her body and all that, comparing to what he did with her mind."

Logan flinched, feeling his heart clench with anger. She said this with such ease, as if she was talking a book she just read. Logan only wondered why Jean hadn't told him about this. She told him everything.

"My father couldn't find a way to erase her powers, so he let it be for a while. But as Jean grew, the barriers extended. Jean was unsettled, feeling something pushing in her head. She had no idea that the barriers were bending."

"What happened?" Logan didn't know if he really wanted her to answer.

"My father did the only thing he thought would save her. Separating her from her powers completely, locking them so deep in her mind that she didn't even know they were there. Erasing her memory that they ever existed, replacing it all with the simple lie that she had been in control as always and under the protective wing of Charles Xavier, and to this day, she doesn't know what he did to her."

Logan was breathing heavily, gripping the chair so hard that it would break at any moment.

"But of course, the part of her powers knows everything and is driven by pure rage and joy and passion, no logical thought. It calls itself the Phoenix." Patricia continued, finishing her water and seating back behind her desk. "Now, the barriers have broken, and Phoenix is coming out, trying to push Jean away and take over."

"What broke the barriers?" Logan was trying to keep his mind off the information he just gained, feeling Wolverine battling uncontrollably.

"I don't know, they have never even wavered." Patricia said annoyed. "Maybe it was an explosion of emotions or something. I thought it might be because she had been practicing her powers, but that would only bring some of Phoenix's powers out, but the barriers are broken, there gone." Patricia paused, looking at Logan thoughtfully.

"What?" He asked.

"What about you? What happened to you that brought your beast out?"

Logan growled low in his throat, wanting to rip the woman in pieces. "I don't remember." He answered hoarsely.

Patricia sighed. "It must have been an emotion, that's what always brings the beast out." She was speaking to herself now, forgetting Logan was there. "It must have been something that she had never felt before otherwise it would have happened earlier."

Logan's head shot up at the mention. _Oh God _And then he remembered. Yes, he knew when the barriers had broken.

Patricia looked up to find Logan walking out of her office, but she didn't say anything.

* * *

Moira called Patricia downstairs. Jean was awake again.

As she approached the doors, she could hear her screaming, and when she entered, she ducked as a metallic tray flew her way and over her, crashing against the wall. She looked around, at everything moving and floating, the monitors and computer out of control and Moira hiding under a desk, holding her ears.

She looked up in shock when the ceiling started to rise and in horror realized that Jean was levitating the entire mansion. Being underground meant that if the redhead let go, they would all be crushed.

Patricia fled to the door but shrieked in pain when a scream tore her apart, into her head and noticed that Moira had passed out. She tried to move away from Jean but she barely noticed that everything stopped as if time had halted, and then with a loud crash everything fell back to the ground.

* * *

When Jean came to again, the first thing she picked up on was the disturbing smell of medicine, then the numb feeling on her leg and finally, distant voices, but not in her head.

She opened her eyes slowly, the ceiling being the first thing that came into focus, followed by the recognition of being on a bed and being attached to a couple of machines, and as she looked around the dim lighted room, she soon realized she was in a hospital.

She tried to take a deep breath but groaned when she felt a respiratory device in her nose and its thin tubes pressing against her cheeks. She slowly pulled it away with the hand that didn't have the IV needle.

"Jean?" Jean looked to where the voice calling her name came from, and was surprised to see Storm standing up from a chair in a corner. Ororo came closer and pushed a button to call the nurse.

Jean tried to speak, but found herself struggling to breathe. She felt her chest heavy and swallowed hard. She saw the white dressing around the weather goddess's forehead and gave her a questioning look.

Storm shrugged. "I was in my office when you levitated the mansion. I ran down the stairs and to my luck, everything came crashing down and I rolled down the rest of the way. I hit the back of my head against the edge."

"Sorry." Jean croaked out, coughing harshly as soon as the words came out, fighting to breathe.

Just then a nurse and the doctor came in, the nurse giving her some water to drink while the doctor explained to her that her respiratory line had been compromised, so it would be better not to talk. When she finished her water, he placed the devise back in her nose, and Jean breathed in as well as she could.

They were in a hospital near Westchester, the closest one they could get them to after the fire department showed up at the crumbling mansion.

"With the proper treatment, we could avoid operating, and you'll be fine in a couple of weeks." The doctor spoke professionally, writing something down on his chart. "As for your leg, it was only injured. We had to give you some antibiotics to fight infection and morphine for the pain. It will heal in due time. You were lucky." He finished and excused himself, walking out of the room quickly with the nurse behind him.

Jean wanted some answers, and the first thing she did was to look for Logan with her mind, but the link was cold and dark, and she was afraid something had happened to him. She couldn't talk, so she did the next best thing.

_What happened?_

Storm jumped when she heard the foreign voice in her head. She looked over her shoulder to see if it was coming from behind her, but saw no one.

_Storm _

Ororo turned back to Jean, and meeting her intense gaze, she realized what was happening. "You still have your powers." She said in shock.

_What do you mean? _Jean thought back to her with a frown on her face.

Storm was still shocked. "Moira injected you with the cure when you woke up."

Jean stopped breathing, her mind trying to make sense of what she just heard.

"We thought that the reason why everything suddenly stopped was because you didn't have your powers anymore, and even now, you look so… calm."

Jean felt her body protest and started breathing again with more difficulty than before, looking deep into her own mind for answers.

She closed her eyes in pain as it came flooding back to her like a wave of water. She had been screaming because Phoenix was showing her over and over again things she didn't think real, but what made her screams louder was the recognition of such memories… it was true. The Professor had done that to her, and now that she knew the truth, she opened her eyes and tears streamed out of them and she wanted to scream again, but she felt out of breath.

Her sobs made her breathing attempts useless and she was soon unable to take a deep breath. She tried to calm down, but couldn't find comfort in anything in her mind. The link felt cold and empty and she pulled away from it, and somehow found comfort on the side of power and fire in her head. She calmed down and stared up at the ceiling.

"So I guess you know?" She was startled by Patricia's voice not too far away. She looked to see her standing by the doorway, her right arm in a cast.

Jean only stared at her for the longest time, her tears stopping. "Why didn't you tell me?" Jean managed to speak out in a very low whisper, but it seemed that Patricia already knew the question.

Patricia smirked. "Would you have believed me?"

Jean let a sob out, followed by a short cough, before she turned to her side and started crying, wishing desperately that Logan was here to hold her, or that at least she could feel him in her head, but there was nothing.

Patricia turned to Storm, giving her a look. "Go back to your room and rest; I need you in Brooklyn as soon as possible."

Storm nodded and left quickly, meeting Scott outside. He hadn't been in the mansion when everything happened, he had been called. Storm was surprised to see that the young woman named Marie was at his side, that he was being as bold as showing up with her near Patricia.

"What are you doing?" Storm asked him urgently as soon as she pulled him into an empty corner.

"What do you mean?" Scott asked, his eyes distant through his red glasses.

Storm was fuming. "Are you insane? Coming here with her? Isn't it enough that you are endangering her life by being with her in the first place?"

Scott sighed in defeat and unclenched his tight jaw, seating down on a chair nearby and burying his head in his hands. "I think I love her."

Storm shook her head in disbelieve. "Scott, Patricia will kill her, and then she will kill you. If you love her like you say you do, let her go, otherwise you'll be the end of her."

Scott didn't have time to reply, because Storm walked away and left towards her room.

* * *

Time passed, Storm was in Brooklyn with Scott, and Patria had gone back to the mansion. Strangely, the upper floors were fine, only the first floor and the underground floors had been nearly impossible to even recognize anymore.

Jean was still in the hospital though, and as she slept, her mind barely realized that her hand was being stroked gently while someone was at her side.

When Jean woke up, she took in a deep breath, grateful that she didn't need the device sticking up her nose anymore. Her leg was much better now, no morphine or antibiotics were needed and all that was being left was a long scar from her thigh to the back of her knee, curving and marking her leg with a thin but visible line.

She shifted slightly, moaning when she felt her hair in her face. She opened her eyes and smiled at the sight of Logan dozing of while resting his elbows on her bedside and seating on a chair.

"Hey." She said softly, stroking his hair and he purred a sound that made her smile widened. He soon opened his eyes and looked at her, then kissed the palm of her hand.

"Hey yourself. How do you feel?" He asked her, leaning against her touch.

"The same. Bored out of my mind and wanting to get out of here." She grumbled yawning. Logan had come back a few days after Patricia left to the mansion and had been by her side all this time, while making sure Patricia was unaware.

Jean was now practicing with Logan how to keep Phoenix down like he kept Wolverine down, but as far as everybody else thought, her powers were gone. Except Storm, whom Jean hadn't been able to talk to since the first time she woke up. The cure had merely nudged her powers, but enough for Jean to gain some control, and now with Logan's help, she was feeling much better.

"The doctor says you can leave tomorrow." Logan said to her with a cheerful smile and poured her some water.

Jean grinned. "That's great news." She stretched like a cat waking up and grabbed the glass of water with her mind. She took a sip and put it back on the table, not lifting a finger.

"So I was thinking that I should go back tonight, give Patricia the fake report and then you'll come back tomorrow." Logan said, seating by her side now, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Jean got comfortable in his embrace and nodded. "Ok"

He leaned down gently and she closed the gap, kissing him tenderly, but then the hunger in her grew stronger and she wrapped her arms around his neck, Phoenix moaning deep inside of her, pulling him closer while he stroked the back of her neck.

Without thinking about it, he was gripping her tighter, but Jean didn't seem to mind, she kissed him back eagerly but groaned in annoyance when the nurse that had just come in cleared her throat to make herself be known.

They pulled away and Jean bit her lower lip, pouting when he stepped away for the nurse to do a quick check up.

"Well Miss Keys, I see you made an excellent recovery, you'll be able to go home tomorrow." The nurse said with a warm smile, one that Jean gave back, feeling nothing at being called by another name, already more than just used to it.

* * *

The next day, Jean got on the car that came to pick her up and drove her back to the mansion. She was nervous as hell, not knowing what the outcome would be. She hadn't seen Patricia since the day she woke up, and wasn't sure if she really thought her powers were gone. She hoped that everything would turn out fine and that she could just go up to her room.

When Jean walked into the mansion, she passed the various workers fixing the damage, trying to remake the lost underground floors, still.

She didn't know how it had looked before, but now it almost looked like home. She felt a pang in her heart. _More like a big line of lies and betrayal, long enough to go across the grounds. _

She sighed and moved through the mayhem, until she reached the stairs and when she got to the second floor, she was surprised at the difference between the first and second floor. The floor was fine, and when she went up again, so was the third floor, where her room was.

She entered her room and smiled slightly, seeing it was just like she left it. She dropped her bag and as she took her coat off, she heard Patricia say in her head… _Jean, my office, now_

Jean breathed in nervously, swallowing hard and after taking off her scarf, she slowly walked to Patricia's office on the second floor.

As she got closer, she heard Patricia speaking to someone. The doors were open, so as soon as she rounded the corner she saw Moira and Logan in her office.

"That's it?" Patricia sounded furious. When Logan nodded, Patricia stood up. "No one just vanishes into thin air, ok? He has to be somewhere."

Jean stood by the doorway silently, until Patricia noticed her. The older woman sighed and looked at Moira. "Do you have something to say?"

Moira shook her head. "No, I really don't understand either. I mean, he left everything here, so that means that he didn't just leave."

Patricia looked thoughtful, before she turned to Jean. "I guess you wouldn't happen to know where Hank McCoy is, do you."

Jean tried to keep her calm, but fear was evident in her eyes at the question. She quickly shook her head no.

"How many times have I told you to answer when you're spoken to." Patricia said harshly, leaning against her desk, not seeing the look that Logan shot her.

"No, I don't know where he is." Jean answered in a tone that verged on a whisper, trying not to shake so much.

Patricia gave her an intimidating look that sent shivers down her spine, her pulse rising slightly. _What are you doing?_ Jean clenched her teeth at Phoenix's voice inside her.

_Please, not now_ She begged, putting up numerous shields.

_You're being weak _Phoenix growled; _you can take her down, why don't you?_

_Shut up _Jean said as firmly as she could and avoided Logan's gaze as he walked out of the room along with Moira, both being dismissed by Patricia. When Patricia told her to come in and close the door behind her, Jean did so quickly.

"I want you to know that now that you're back, it's gonna be like it used to be, no changes, understood?" Patricia went right to the point, not wanting to waste her time.

"As in 'nothing ever happened'?" Jean asked, wanting to make sure her thoughts were correct.

"Exactly. I don't see the need to make any more drama out of this enormous waste of time." Patricia stated. "You're less trouble without your powers anyways."

Jean nodded and listened as Patricia told her what her next assignment was. It was quite easy, comparing to what Jean had in mind. She left the office a few minute later, arguing with Phoenix on her way to her room.

On the hallway, she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Storm. She didn't know she was back. "Ororo." Jean called her name and the weather witch turned around, the look on her face distant.

None said anything as Jean walked closer. When Jean was about to speak, Storm stopped her. "I won't tell anyone."

Jean unclenched her jaw, sighing in relive. She gave her a warm smile. "Thank you."

"I just hope you have it under control, and use them for what really matters." Storm said, and walked away, down the stairs and out of Jean's sight slowly, leaving the redhead to ponder over her sister-like-friend's words.

Trying to block the thoughts away, she entered her room and lay down, curling up into a ball.

As much as she hated to admit it, she knew both Storm and Phoenix were right. She had the power, why wasn't she using it?

She was just too damming afraid. What if instead of helping she made everything worse? What if it wasn't enough? Well of course it was more than enough, but still, what if…

She groaned and buried her head in her pillow, frustration taking over as Phoenix rumbled on about everything and anything to irritate her, telling her to stop being so pathetic.

She had a lot of power inside of her, but she didn't know it was all just the beginning.

* * *

About a week later, while the night sky was glowing with stars and the wind was blowing the cold announcements of coming winter, Jean slept soundly, warm and cozy under the sheets.

She was starting to shiver, the sweat on her naked skin now drying. Logan noticed this and pulled the sheets higher, covering the upper part of her naked form. He couldn't help but think how beautiful she was. She had her back pressed against him, and he was simply staring at her, stroking up and down her arm gently.

He still thought it was amazing how she had gotten Phoenix so under control so easily, as if she had been doing it all her life. She seemed happier now though, he could see fire in her eyes more often, because she wasn't so afraid to show it anymore. Phoenix was steering a passion inside her that he was sure was scaring her, but she was strong. She had restored their link easily, and they both felt more at ease now.

He leaned down and kissed her shoulder. He couldn't believe that he wanted her again already. He kissed his way up to her jaw, and she squirmed, turning around in his grasp. Awake now, she opened her eyes slowly and in the dark he could see her green eyes. _Have I told you how much I love you today?_

Jean giggled, pressing her lips against his. _Yes, and you may say it again and again._

"I love you." He said out loud and Jean smiled, looking at him intently.

"I love you too." She whispered, sending a wave through the link that made him close his eyes and lean back against the pillow.

She climbed on top of him once he opened his eyes, catching his lips in a gentle kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back, growling when she pressed herself against him, stroking his chest.

He cupped her breast then bit her lower lip and she moaned, feeling a welcoming fire take over her. Phoenix growled inside of her and he rolled his hips slowly against hers, purring when she rubbed back, dragging her nails against his shoulders, ripping his skin and he growled loudly, pulling away from her lips. She left a burning trail that quickly healed and he was kissing her again, his hand on her thigh, pressing her against him harder.

Logan reached up and nibbled her earlobe, making her moan, and then he reached down and ran a finger past her wetness, then rubbed her clit, feeling her squirm and pant and moan when he slipped a finger into her.

She moved her hand to rest on his hand in her entrance, and while kissing his lips hungrily, she guided his fingers into a faster rhythm, moaning against his lips. Jean pulled away from his lips to gasp loudly when he thrust yet another finger into her, moving faster and then rubbing her with his palm.

She whimpered, rocking her hips against his fingers, her eyes never leaving his. Biting her lip hard enough to draw blood, she came, pressing her forehead against his.

Before she really came down, he was slipping his fingers out of her and guiding her to him. She dug her nails into her shoulder as he slowly thrust into her. The feeling of him stretching her open still brought her pain, but she knew it would go away and turn into pleasure as soon as he started moving.

He moved slowly in and out of her, thrusting deep and hard into her, panting heavily while she moaned, over and over again, her lips hovering over his, but not really kissing him. Her breath was hot against his lips, her lips parted as she gasped and whimpered, digging her nails harder and harder into his skin, clenching her eyes shut while he thrust faster into her still throbbing entrance.

Jean cried out softly, now moving her hips against his, swallowing back a moan when he reached up and kissed her. He cupped the back of her neck, pressing her lips against his, moving faster between her legs. Jean couldn't take it anymore and let go, throwing her head back and making things around the room shake, wailing when he grabbed her hips and thrust up into her harder, grinding his hips against hers, guiding her even as she came, prolonging her orgasm until she thought she'd pass out, screaming and crying out, not able to help herself. With one last thrust he gave an animalistic growl and came inside of her, marking her as his and no one else's.

Jean dropped down on his chest, moving her lips closer to his ear. "Logan…" She breathed out, trying to recover her breath.

Logan gently slipped out of her and kissed her lips softly, spent completely. Jean pulled the covers over them with her mind, wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against the kiss.

**Ok, so I hope you liked the chapter. By the way, the title says 'Just the beginning', and its true in a way, but the story ends in two more chapters. Review!! **


	14. Playing with fire

**OK, so sorry it took so long, but my computer has a nasty virus, and I just can't use it, so finally, a friend lent me her laptop, so I've been writing for four hours straight, it's 5am and I'm ****tired****!! So you better review!! **

**Thank you so much for all the reviews on chapter 13!!**

* * *

_Playing with fire_

There was someone knocking on the door, her half conscious mind knew that, but Jean was too comfortable in Logan's arms to even think about moving. But the knocking became louder and more frequent and soon Jean's half-asleep mind finally realized what was happening and she shot up in bed, wide awake. "Oh My God."

The sudden movement woke Logan and he also realized that there was someone knocking on his door, and Jean was still with him. "Oh God."

Jean was panicking, her hands shaking uncontrollably as she grabbed her clothes and threw them on. "It's Antonia, Patricia's assistant." Jean said to Logan in a low tone, fastening her pants and forgetting about her underwear, which Logan grabbed and hid under the sheets.

"Logan!!" Antonia called out from outside, pounding on the door.

"In a minute!" Logan shouted, and then turned back to Jean, wearing only his jeans now. "Can you climb out the window?"

Jean gleaned at the window and gulped, but nodded. "I guess I'll have to."

Jean opened the window and looked down, gasping and looking up and away, wondering why Logan's room had to be on the fifth floor. Taking a deep breath, adrenaline rushed threw her when she reached for Phoenix's powers, and she climbed the edge.

"Are you sure you can do that?" Logan asked her while standing at the window when she was already on the other side. Logan was taken aback when Jean looked back at him with eyes that glowed with fire.

_I'm sure_ Jean said into his mind and then let go of the edge, letting gravity pull her down, then halting her fall with her telekinesis, just to climb through a window again and into her room, where there was also someone knocking on the door. "I'll be right there!" Jean shouted to Storm who was knocking outside.

Upstairs, when Logan was sure Jean was already in her room and safe, he went opened the door angrily. "What?!" He growled.

"Logan." Antonia sighed, her knuckles hurting from knocking on the door.

"It's 7 o'clock in the morning, what's your problem?" Logan grumbled "I'm not gonna buy any cookies."

Antonia ignored his comment. "Patricia wants to see you in her office right now." With that said, Antonia turned around and left, and Logan slammed the door closed, seating on the bed and burying his head in his hands, sighing deeply.

Downstairs, Jean had taken her clothes off and threw on her night clothes, then opened the door, putting the sleepiest face she could mange. "What is it?"

"You're a really hard person to wake." Ororo said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"What do you want?" Jean asked again.

"Sorry to wake you, but Patricia wants to see you in her office right now." Storm said, taking in Jean's tired look.

"All right, I'll be right down." Jean said with a sigh, running a hand through her messy hair. "I'll see you at breakfast."

"Actually I have a breakfast meeting uptown, so I gotta leave now." Storm said. "Bye."

"Bye." Jean waved and closed the door, sighing in relief, sliding down the door to the ground, her hands still shaking a little.

When Jean got to Patricia's office, she was surprised to see Logan already there.

"Jean, sit down." Patricia ordered and Jean sat on a chair in front of the desk. Patricia handed her a file, a copy of the one Logan was looking at. "You'll be leaving for London in two hours; there you'll meet with my associate Emma from Frost's Industries." Patricia said, handing them two plane tickets. "Now, I already have a deal with her, what I need you two to do is get acquainted and make sure everything is in place, then Jean, you'll sign the contract."

Jean nodded and checked the plane ticket.

"The reason I need you both to go is because both of you are gonna be doing business with her from now on, and you have to know her." Patricia continued. "Emma Frost is a very tricky woman and I don't want her making me look like a fool, so Logan, what you have to do is get some leverage on her, something we can have against her, so she doesn't try anything."

Logan nodded and closed the file, knowing that it'll be a long flight to London, he could read it then.

Patricia finished. "You should go pack, you're gonna be there for three days."

* * *

Marie loved to seat by the window early in the morning and look out at the world waking up, feeling the sun shine on her face and the cool morning hair feel her lungs. But it was even better now that she had someone to share this with. Feeling Scott's arms around her made her feel warmer and safer, in ways that she had never felt before.

"Scott?" She said his name softly, resting her head against his chest.

"Hm?" He was stroking her back absently, looking out the window with her.

"Remember when I told you about my first foster parents, how they always took me to Central Park and we always watched as far as we could see, then imagine what was beyond?" She asked him, remembering this well, even if she was only 8 at the time.

Scott nodded. "Yeah, you told me you always wanted to travel beyond that line, to see if all you imagined could be true."

Marie smiled. "I really want to get away from here Scott, start over, but I don't want to leave without you." Scott could hear the pain and tears in her voice, and held her tighter.

There was a long silence, Marie's tears sliding down her face as she waited for the worst, not knowing what his reaction would be, and wondering if she should have said that.

"I've already thought about that." Scott said and Marie held her breath, waiting for him to continue. "And I think we should leave."

Marie looked up at him with surprised eyes. "Really?"

Scott chuckled and stroked her cheek, cleaning away her tears. "Yeah. We can go to Europe, I have a lot of money saved, we could get married in Paris, we'll start over."

Marie smiled, but then looked away with a serious look on her face. "But what about Patricia?"

Scott sighed, taking her hand. "I'll get around her, I already have a plan." Marie looked back at him with worried eyes. "We're going to start over in a new place, far away from all this, I promise."

Marie felt overwhelmed with emotions and started to cry, and Scott pulled her into his arms again, stroking her back. "I love you." She whispered and kissed him.

* * *

When Jean and Logan got off the plane in London, it was pouring rain outside, and the airport was too crowded. Jean and Logan finally got through with their bags and a woman with long blond hair and blue eyes was waiting for them. She sent them a mental note, making it obvious she was a telepath, a strong one, Jean could sense.

"Hello, I'm Emma Frost." The woman spoke in a British accent, reaching her hand out. "You must be Jean Grey."

Jean shook the woman's hand. "Yes I am, and this is my associate Logan." Logan shook the woman's hand as well and she led them to the car.

When they were in the car and the driver was taking them to the city center, Jean tried to call Scott, but there was no answer, and she was getting worried, she hadn't heard from him since the day before.

Jean hung up her phone and took a good look at Emma Frost. The woman's eyes were icy blue, but bright at the same time. She looked like a person that could bring you down with words, and brake you with thoughts.

She wore an all white suit, her hair was pined up and a few strands fell on her face, while she had high hills on and had the look of a strong woman, the body of a model and was probably as smart as Jean. She seemed to be a determined woman, Jean noticed this by the way she talked and walked, straight and confident, firm but sexy… Men must follow her like puppies, and she surely broke their hearts.

"So it's kind of strange for a woman of your standards to come personally, shouldn't you just send someone to pick us up?" Logan asked gruffly.

Emma was expecting that question. She turned to Jean and said "You are a special case." And that was all she said.

* * *

In New York, the sun was already setting and the night was falling, no full moon for tonight but the air was still colder than ever.

Marie was packing the last things she could find, determined to take one bag only, wanting to leave the rest behind. She closed the luggage and made sure her phone had enough battery, before she placed the bag on the ground and rolled it out of the small apartment.

She was about to lock the door, but what for? She was never coming back here. So she simply pushed the button and waited for the elevator.

She suddenly felt a presence behind her and was about to turn around, when someone grabbed her roughly and a hand covered her mouth tightly, muffling her scream. She couldn't move in the man's tight grip, she frozen and was breathing heavily with fear, feeling him brush a blade against her neck and tears rolled down her cheeks, her screams muffled by his hand on her mouth.

The last thing her mind registered was a sharp pain in the back of her neck and then she was unconscious and being carried away.

* * *

Jean, Logan and Emma were coming out of the conference room with a few other people, the meeting ending only 3 minutes ago.

"So I will see you tomorrow at lunch and we can discus the rest of the deal," Emma said. "Right now I bet you want to go your hotel and get some rest, right?"

"Yes, I do." Jean said while Emma handed Logan a couple of files.

"Jean" Emma said "Can I talk to you in private for a minute?"

Jean gave Emma a strange look "Sure" Jean said and followed Emma after glancing at Logan, who gave her the same confused look.

Jean followed Emma into an empty corridor, getting more and more confused as the blond woman led her further away until they were in a corner. Then, Emma took out a remote and pressed a couple of buttons. "That should keep cameras and bugs out for a little while." Emma said.

Jean frowned. "What?"

"I want to make you a deal." Emma spoke in a low tone.

Jean was getting even more confused. "I thought you already made the deal with Patricia."

"Not that." Emma said. "A personal deal."

Jean looked at her surprised.

"I know what Patricia does to you, Jean." To show what she meant, Emma grabbed Jean's arm and pulled up her sleeve, reviling a recent bruise.

Jean's eyes widened and she pulled her arm back, breathing heavily now. "How do you know that?"

"I have a source inside the mansion." Emma explained and Jean scoffed.

"That's ridiculous."

"Really?" Emma's voice dripped with sarcasm "Then tell me how I know that you killed Hank McCoy, when not even Patricia knows it."

Jean went pale and almost fell backwards, her lower lip quivering.

"I know you were defending yourself." Emma assured her. "And I also know about you and Logan."

"Oh My God." Jean gasped out and fell to her knees, shaking.

Emma stood over her. "But Patricia doesn't know."

Jean looked up at Emma with tear stained eyes. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"No Jean, I'm on your side." Emma said and helped Jean back up to her feet. "I want to help you. Believe it or not I went through the same thing with Patricia 15 years ago."

Jean looked at Emma with shock in her eyes. "What?"

"I can't go into details at the moment, but I want to make you a deal." Emma explained.

Jean was silent for a few more seconds, and Emma realized Jean was reading her mind. She let her in, and the redhead asked what the deal was.

"I want to help you escape." Emma said and Jean didn't know if to laugh or cry anymore. "At first you'll have to hide, but with my contacts and influences you'll be well known around the world within three months, but you'll have to work for me, so that you are important to the government like I am and be politically protected" Emma clarified "and not even Patricia can make someone like that disappear."

Seeing the doubt and confusion in Jean's eyes, Emma added "Look how far I've come. Patricia can't touch me."

Jean only stared at Emma. Not knowing what to do or say or even think, she just stood there and stared. "I'm supposed to believe you?"

"Bloody Hell!" Emma snapped. "Didn't you just read my mind!? I'm on your side Jean!"

"Well, what do you want in return?" Jean shouted back.

Emma hesitated before speaking for the first time since Jean met her. "You are the only being in this world that can overpower that woman." Emma stated, and that was enough for Jean.

"And you want revenge?"

Emma sighed. "I want to destroy her, and we have to, because if we don't, then she'll find someone else to beat and use." Emma said. "And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't wish what happened to me on my worst enemy."

Jean calmed her breathing down breath by breath, then managed to stand up straight again. "I'll think about it." She barely said before she simply walked away.

* * *

Back in Westchester, Storm was waiting for Scott, and the moment he walked in through the door, she stepped up to him. "Scott, explain this." She said angrily and handed him her phone. He read the message she had gotten from the bank and groaned, handing her back the phone.

"None of your business." He grumbled and walked upstairs, but Ororo followed him step by step.

"None of my business?" She felt like a mother asking an explanation from her teenage son. She grabbed his arm and stopped him. "You just extracted 100,000 dollars, what the hell are you thinking?"

"I told you it's none of your business!" He pulled away from her and entered his room, but Storm didn't let him slam the door on her face, she walked in right behind him.

"What are you gonna do with it?"

"Leave me alone!"

"NO Scott," Storm yelled so loud and forceful that it made Scott stop, hearing the fear and agitation in her voice. "I have to report this to Patricia because if I don't she will kill us both once she finds out what the hell you used it for!" Storm's voice suddenly broke. "If you're in some kind of trouble, you tell me and I'll help you, but you can't just take the money! She will kill you." Scott felt his chest clench at the sight of Storm crying. "Tell me!"

Scott passed a hand through his hair. "Marie." He said in despair

Storm scoffed, feeling the world crumble around her. "I can't believe it Scott." She said. "What the fuck has gotten into you!"

"I'm saying that someone kidnapped her, and they want the money in exchange for her." Scott yelled.

Storm took the news in and shook her head. "Can't you see what you're doing?" She said in a mare whisper, the she raised her voice again, broken "You're playing with fire, Scott!" She shouted. "You can't just take this money!"

"Then what am I supposed to do?!" He was so broken that he wanted to fall to his knees and cry. "I can't just let them kill her!"

"You can't take Patricia's money!" Strom told him. "You'll have to find it some other way." She said more gently. "I'm sorry,"

Scott shook his head and walked down to the garage, then drove off in his sports car.

* * *

Jean and Logan were in their hotel room, dancing to a slow beat, relaxed in each other's arms, enjoying each other's warmth, but Jean's mind was in a million things, questions and possible answers, thinking about what Emma said.

"Jeannie, what's bothering you so much?" Logan suddenly asked her and Jean looked up from his chest.

"Nothing, I'm just tired." She lied.

Logan sighed. "I know you better than that." He stated. "You're blocking me away. What's going on?"

Jean sighed deeply and told him to seat down. The both sat on the bed and Jean told him about her conversation with Emma. After she was done, he was quiet for a long time.

"How can she have a source in the mansion?" Was the first question Logan asked.

Jean shrugged. "Beats me. But she does, I saw it in her mind, I just didn't see who it was."

Logan shook his head. "Do you believe her?"

Jean raised and eye brow. "I don't know. I looked in her mind, she wasn't kidding, she on my side."

Logan could only stare at Jean "What are you gonna do?"

Jean felt tears coming to her eyes. "Apart from being with you, this would be the biggest risk I ever take."

With that said, the decision was made, and Logan sighed, pulling her into his arms and holding her as she cried.

* * *

Antonia walked into Patricia's office with an USB disk in her hand. "They finally managed to get the ruins out of the computer room in the basement." She said and Patricia looked up at her.

"And?"

Antonia handed her the USB. "I copied the files that were saved into this. It isn't much."

Patricia took the USB and plugged it into the computer. The files appeared on the screen and she scoffed. "This is almost nothing."

"Yeah."

The tapes were from a couple of hidden cameras in the mansion, and the computer room had being crushed down below, only these images were left. Patricia simply passed them, only glancing at them, when one caught her eye. She clicked on it and pressed play, then the tape started to play.

The computer was facing away from Antonia, so she could only hear the dialogue. She recognized Logan's voice.

'When I heard, I was so afraid that you…'

There was a pause, then she heard him say 'I came as fast as I could, I-I needed to see you.'

Then there was the sound of a woman sobbing.

'Jean' Logan whispered. _Jean?_ Antonia thought, wanting to see the screen, but stayed put, noticing how Patricia's frown deepened.

Again, there was a pause, and she saw Patricia's jaw drop.

'Why? I mean, I understand you, but you promised me that you would never try this again.' She heard him say. Once again, there was a pause and then the sound of movement, and by the look on Patricia's face, Antonia guessed whatever she was looking at wasn't good.

The sound of Jean sobbing could still be heard, then she said in a broken voice: 'I guess I just needed to get away from it all. I thought death was the only way I could get away, but…' She stopped talking and let out another sob, then said 'But as soon as it grabbed me a regretted it, because I realized that it wasn't death that I really needed to get away…'

Another pause, then finally Jean said 'I need you' And Antonia froze. _Oh…_

The look on Patricia's face was an angry one, her jaw still on the floor and Antonia got out of the office as fast as she could, and when she was at the end of the hall, she could hear crashing sounds from the office.

Antonia leaned against the wall and put a hand over her mouth, still shocked. _Jean and Logan are together…_

* * *

Jean moaned loudly as Logan moved inside her, their bodies sweaty on the bed, groaning and moaning in pleasure. Jean bit her lip hard when he started thrusting harder into her, pressing his forehead against hers. She was so close already, moaning and whimpering and gasping, while he kissed her neck and cupped her breasts, holding her as tight as possible. Jean wrapped her legs around his waist and moved with him, making him groan.

Jean cried out softly when he bit her neck, sucking on her skin gently, and then caught her parted lips in a deep, urgent kiss.

Jean pulled away from his lips to moan again, and looked deep into his eyes, feeling his eyes burn into her very soul.

Looking deep into her eyes, he halted his movements and she gave him a confused look. "Jean" He said her name and then lowered his lips to her ear. "Marry me." He whispered, and then looked into her eyes again.

Jean was quite for a couple of seconds, surprised, but then she smiled and nodded. "Yes." She whispered and he started moving inside of her again, and she just kept saying 'yes'

**So, did I shock you? Did your eyes pop out of your head? Review!! **

**Remember, next chapter is the last chapter, unless you want a sequel… **


	15. All my dreams, Torn asunder

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Thank you guys so much for all the reviews!! I loved them all. So this is the very last chapter of 'By Any Means Necessary'. But there is going to be a sequel!!

**I've got the sequel all planed out. You'll see way when you finish the chapter. REVIEW!! **

_All my dreams, Torn asunder_

Emma sat in her office. It was past midnight, but she still had a lot of work to do. She had just dismissed her assistant because it was way too late. She was staring at a paper, reading it carefully. Just when she was about to sign it, her phone rang and she put her pen down, picking up. "Emma Frost."

"It's me." A female voice spoke in a strong British accent, just like Emma.

Emma leaned back in her chair. "Elizabeth, what have you got for me?"

"They're dead." The woman chocked out, clearly on the verge of tears.

Emma sat up straight in her chair. "What?"

"She killed them both." Elizabeth's voice was broken now. "They just found their bodies in an alley in Manhattan."

Emma couldn't believe what she was hearing. "They're dead?"

"They were shot in the back of the head, execution style." Betsy said bitterly, trying to keep her voice steady over the phone.

"But I thought we had the girl." Emma gave back, not taking the news well at all.

"She got her, I don't how, I don't what she did, but she killed them both!" Elizabeth nearly screamed through the line in anger.

Emma felt tears burning in her eyes and let a sob out, putting a hand over her mouth.

"We have to get Jean and Storm out as quick as possible, Patricia is out of control." Betsy said quickly and hung up, leaving Emma to cry, despair clenching her.

* * *

"Tell me what you want." Logan whispered in Jean's ear, holding her tightly under the sheets, the chilly air in London reaching them.

Jean smiled, pressed against him as close as possible, still not believing that he had just asked her to marry him. "I just want to be free, with you." She whispered.

Logan kissed her lips softly, stroking through her long red mane. "That can be arranged."

Jean chuckled. "Only if Emma can be trusted."

"What do you think?" Logan asked her.

Jean took a deep breath, pressing her ear against the steady beat of his heart. "I was in her head, and I know she's telling the truth, she wants to help me, but the question is, can she really?"

Logan sighed, still stroking her hair, and then he shifted, moving to the side table. "Either way," He reached into a drawer and took something out of it, and then he was at her side again. "I want you to have this."

Jean looked at the object in his hand and nearly forgot how to breathe. He held a deep blue velvet box and she could more than guess what was in it. "Logan, I…" She didn't know what to say, didn't even make a move to touch the box.

"Open it." He said and watched how she did so with hesitant hands. She felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight of the beautiful silver band, decorated with a breathtaking emerald, the color matching her eyes like a mirror. "Oh…" She breathed out, her eyes filling up with tears.

Jean bit her lips when he slipped the band into her left ring finger, fitting perfectly. Jean looked up at him as a tear streamed down her face and kissed him, holding on to him like a drowning woman, not having the slightest idea on what to say to him. _I love you so much _She whispered into his mind, trying to show him everything, all the emotions in her chest, the happiness in her heart, the peace in her soul…

When he pulled away gasping for air, he stroked her lips with his thumb finger, smiling at her. "I love you too."

Jean lifted her hand up and admired the ring on her hand, smiling brightly. "It's beautiful." She told him.

Logan kissed her forehead. "You know, I never used to think about stuff like this."

Jean put her hand down and turned to him. "You mean marriage?"

Logan nodded. "I never thought I'd want it, but being with you made me wonder, and wonder turned to wish." He said, taking her hand in his, stroking over the ring in her finger. "And I want it, Jean. I want it all, with you of course."

Jean hesitated on her next words, but said them anyway. "Even children?"

"Especially children."

Jean gave him a surprised look. "Really?"

Logan chuckled at her look. "Yeah. I told you, I want it all, but only with you."

Jean blushed slightly, the smile on her face widening. "How many?" She asked teasingly.

"Three." Logan said without hesitation.

"Three?" Jean echoed.

"Yeah." Logan nodded. "Is that ok?"

Jean kissed him. "It's perfect." She whispered.

There was a short silence between them. Jean was thrilled, and couldn't help but ask another question on her mind. "Have you ever thought of names for children?"

Logan scoffed. "I really haven't thought that far. You?"

Jean giggled. "There are a couple of names that I've had in mind since I was 14."

Logan laughed softly. "What are they?"

Jean spoke somewhat indecisive. "Nicole for a girl, and Daniel for a boy."

Logan was quite for a few seconds. "They're good names."

"What names do you like?" Jean asked him eagerly.

Logan stroked the back of his head thoughtfully. "I told you, I've never thought about this kind of stuff, but I've always thought Julian was a strong name."

"Julian." Jean repeated the name, and then was quite for a few seconds. "I like it. What about a name for a girl?"

"Well, the thing is that I like Julian for a girl." Logan said.

Jean gave him a strange look, before she spoke. "But it's a boy's name."

"Yeah, but I think it sounds good on a girl." He said mater of factually.

Jean laughed slightly, before she thought about it well. "Julian is spelled J-U-L-I-A-N, and that's a boy's name, but if you add an N-E at the end, then it's Julianne, and that's a girl's name." She explained. "But it's still pronounced the same."

Logan repeated her words in his head before he shook it off. "Never mind."

Jean chuckled and kissed him.

* * *

In the morning, Jean went down to the lobby with Logan, ordering a cab to the airport, both surprised to see Emma.

"Miss Grey, Logan." Emma greeted them, putting on her best face.

"Miss Frost, we didn't expect to see you." Jean said politely, her mind suddenly racing her on last minute decisions. Should she really take the deal?

"I didn't get a chance to say good bye, plus I needed to talk to you." She explained. She had to speak to Jean face to face.

"I'll go check the bags." Logan said and left, knowing that they needed to speak alone.

"So…" Emma was obviously waiting for an answer.

Jean swallowed hard before she reached out her hand. "We have a deal."

Emma smiled and shook Jean's hand. "Thanks. I'll have my source contact you as soon as possible."

Jean nodded. "OK."

"See you soon." Emma waved as Jean walked away, noticing the ring on Jean's hand. _Congratulations _She sent telepathically.

Jean turned around, looking at Emma. _Thanks _

When Emma got back to her office, she immediately picked up the phone and dialed a number, then waited for the other side to pick up.

"Hello."

"Patricia." Emma stopped her pacing at the voice of the woman, of her worst nightmares.

"Emma, did Jean take your deal?" Patricia asked quickly, anger evident in her voice.

"No." Emma answered without hesitation. "No she didn't. She's very loyal to you. You really scared this one, Patricia." Emma kept up the lie. "Jean really fears you enough to give up a chance for freedom."

"Good. I can't let her slip through my fingers." Patricia said.

"Like I did?" Emma asked bitterly.

"Exactly like you did." Patricia gave back and hung up the phone, this only making Emma move faster to get Jean out.

* * *

When the plane landed in New York, it was almost noon, and the airport was really crowded as Jean and Logan fought the crowd to get their bags, when suddenly Logan's phone rang. "Yeah?" He picked up, finally getting one of the bags, but missed the other one, and Jean got it. "All right." He answered and hung up.

"Who was it?" Jean asked as they made their way out of the air port after security checked the tags on the bags.

"I have to go to Miami." He said with a groan. "So I guess I'm staying."

Jean pouted. "That's too bad."

"Yeah, well." He shrugged, kissing her quickly. "I'll see you in a couple of days."

"Ok." Jean smiled and headed outside, getting a cab as Logan got a ticket to Miami.

As Jean rode on the cab, she admired her ring, smiling brightly, but groaning when the cab drove on a bumpy road and made her stomach turn. She closed her eyes and kept her breakfast down, until the taxi was on a good road again. She sighed, pressing a hand against her stomach, swallowing hard.

She looked at her ring again before slipping it off, hiding it as well as she could.

When she got to the mansion, Storm was waiting for her at the door. The look on her face spoke volumes and it scared her. "'Ro, what's wrong?"

Ororo didn't know how to tell her, gently or straight up. "Scott's dead." Straight up it was.

Jean dropped her bag. "What did you just say?"

Storm crossed her arms in front of her chest, tears clouding her eyes. "He and the girl he was with, Marie, they're both dead."

Jean felt her heart sink to her stomach and once again wanted to throw up, breathing heavily, leaning against the wall for support. "How?" She chocked out.

"Patricia." Storm simply said, her voice breaking into a whisper. "She found out about him and Marie."

The pain on Jean's face turned into one of pure anger. "That bitch." Jean growled, clenching her fists.

"Emma said to tell you that it will be better if you stay away from her, until she can get you out." Storm said quickly.

Jean looked up at Storm, realization taking over her. "You're her source." Storm didn't answer, but the look on her face was enough for Jean. "My God, Ororo! Do you know how dangerous that is?"

"Of course I do." The African woman gave back. "We take every precaution possible."

Jean scoffed, feeling overwhelmed. "How do you even contact her?"

"Through her middle person, Elizabeth Braddock." Storm explained. "I meet her when I can and she gets back to Emma with information."

Jean shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks "I can't believe this."

Storm took a deep breath. "Emma sent some men to pick Marie up, but something went wrong, Patricia's men got to her first." Ororo explained. "She made it look like kidnapping, demanding money, testing Scott, see what he would do."

Jean started to understand. "How much?"

Storm looked away at the question. "Too much." She simply said. "Scott took the money, which was just what she was expecting him to do."

"So she killed them." Jean finished, now seating on the floor, her head in her hands, crying.

Ororo took another deep breath, trying to swallow the lump in her throat, fighting the tears. Ororo frowned when Jean got up and headed upstairs. "Where are you going?"

"She killed him!" Jean cried out, running up the stairs. "She has to pay."

"Jean, Stop!" Ororo couldn't get to her. "She'll kill you too!" But Jean had already stormed into Patricia's office.

"You killed him!" Jean screamed and Patricia actually jumped, standing up.

"What are you…" Patricia started.

"He fell in love, so you killed him!" Jean screamed again, the things in the room starting to rattle.

Patricia smirked. "An eye for an eye Jean. You killed Hank."

Jean was taken aback, but she started feeling Phoenix's powers inside of her, and couldn't control her anger. "I was not his." Phoenix hissed, switching to Jean again.

"You had no right." Patricia said, stepping closer to Jean.

"And you did?" Jean scoffed, wanting to rip the woman apart.

"You're such a cheater, Jean." Jean gasped when she started to feel shooting pains in her chest, clearly Patricia's doing. "I don't know how long it had been going on, but you lied to me." Jean cried out as she felt her mind being ripped. "How long have you been playing Logan's whore?"

At this, Phoenix reached Jean's eyes and sent Patricia flying through the window with her telekinesis. She felt the pain fade immediately and got up, stepping out the window and landing on her feet. Patricia was already getting up, groaning.

"So how's it gonna be?" Phoenix asked darkly.

Patricia smirked. "My duel is not with you."

Jean agreed and took over. "Bring it on."

* * *

The earliest flight Logan could get was in three more hours, so he got out of the air port and went for a walk. He had ventured away from the airport, onto a highway, just walking, smoking a cigar, watching the planes from far away. The sound of them taking off was torture to his ears, but he could take it.

He stopped all of a sudden, sensing someone watching him. He threw his cigar away and smelled the air, looking for anything irregular, when he was hit by what felt like a bee sting to him, right on the neck. He started feeling dizzy immediately, pulling a dart put of his neck. "What the…" The toxin was strong, too strong even for him. It could have probably killed a normal person, but it was only bringing him down, and before he could make another coherent thought, he was out cold on the dusty ground.

A van pulled over and pulled him inside, then drove away...

* * *

They had been like this for almost an hour now, one moment it seemed Patricia had the upper hand but then it was Jean, and then Patricia again… Ororo could only watch them, not daring to intervene. If she did, it would only get worse.

Jean had a bloody nose, and a bloody bruise on her cheek, while she felt her wrist a little dislocated, but the pain was ignored. It was more of a mind war. Patricia was more or less in the same condition, a broken lip and an ugly bruise on her neck.

Jean sent another telekinetic wave, but Patricia managed to mirror it, and it hit Jean instead. Jean hit the wall hard and screamed when a sharp piece of glass dug into the palm of her hand. She breathed heavily, standing up slowly and pulling the glass out with her mind, wincing at the pain, blood dripping from her hand.

She got up and leaned against the wall, concentrating on Patricia's mind, trying to bring something ugly out, wanting to make her relieve a nightmare, a trauma, something, anything, but Patricia slapped her mentally and Jean lost concentration.

Storm thought of something she could do, and looked up at the sky, her eyes turning white as black clouds took over and rain started to pour. Jean was good with rain, but she knew Patricia hated it. Maybe it would help in some way.

Jean raised her hand and made a ball of water come over to her, and then she threw it with all her mighty at Patricia.

Patricia was stunned and didn't have time to react. The water hit her square on the face and she fell backwards, coughing harshly, and Jean took the opportunity to enter her mind again. Patricia screamed when Jean pushed hard, looking into her thoughts.

Patricia held her head as Jean invaded her, and tried to think of something to do, but Jean was ripping her apart. But then she noticed Storm, and quickly connected her mind with hers, so that Storm also felt the pain.

Jean looked up when Ororo's pained scream reached her ears, and searched for her with her eyes. She couldn't see her, but soon realized what Patricia was doing and let go.

Jean stood over Patricia, still deep in her mind, looking for something, while the woman lay on the ground, trying to regain some strength. Jean felt someone communicate with Patricia mentally, but it was so brief that she couldn't even hear what the message was, but Patricia was smiling.

With a quick movement, Patricia swung her foot under Jean and Jean fell on her back hard, hitting her head. It took her a few moments to realize what had happened and she got up quickly, following Patricia back into the mansion.

Inside was dark, since none of the lights were on, but she heard Patricia's voice say. "I've go him, Jean."

"What are you talking about?" Jean asked angrily, reaching the light switch, but it wasn't working.

"You see Jean, you are too valuable to me." Patricia said, her voice coming closer, blocking Jean's mind. "There is no way I'm going to let you go."

"And who's gonna stop me?" Jean gave back. "You?" Jean laughed.

Jean gasped when Patricia appeared right besides her. "Where are you gonna go without your Logan?"

Jean only stared at Patricia, understanding dawning her face.

"That's right Jean, I've got him." Patricia said. "And you're out of line. You know I'll hold anything, anyone against you."

Jean shook her head, tears falling from her eyes. "You're lying."

"Really?" Patricia smirked. "Try to call him."

The phone was right besides Jean, so she picked it up and dialed his number, then waited for him to pick up. She waited, and she waited, her heart sinking with every beep of the phone. With shaking hands, she put the phone down slowly.

"All I have to do is make a call and he dies." Patricia said to her, and then she leaned closer and said into her ear. "So you better start behaving."

When Patricia walked away, Jean picked the phone up again and redialed, begging him to answer. But he didn't answer, he never did.

* * *

Two weeks later, Storm waited at the Gorge Washington Bridge, leaning against her car, hands buried deep in her pockets, the night wind blowing harshly.

She was a couple of minutes early, and Elizabeth was very punctual. Just as the clock marked midnight, a car approached her, stopped not far from her and a woman stepped out of it. She was a tall Asian woman, with strange violet hair and her eyes almost glowed under the moonlight. Storm still thought she was the most beautiful woman she had ever met.

"Ororo." Elizabeth Braddock came closer, wrapping her arms around herself since she only wore a long sleeve shirt. She must have been warm in her car. "How are you?"

Ororo shrugged. "Cold."

Elizabeth gave a small smile. "Anything else?"

Storm sighed. "Not good. But Jean is doing worse."

"I can only imagine." She was British, her accent strong. "Did she at least attend to Scott's funeral?"

Storm sighed again. "Yeah. But she hasn't eaten or slept or anything else but cry the past two weeks." Ororo said. "Sometimes I think she's waiting for him."

Elizabeth bit her lip. "Emma already started a search." She said "We'll bring Jean in on it when she's a little better. Right now she is too emotionally unstable. She won't be able to help; it'll just make her worst."

"I guess so."

There was a long silence between them, only the whistling sound of the wind could be heard for a while.

"We had so many dreams…" Ororo spoke. "When we were just kids, we always talked about the future. We had so many adventures planned." Ororo broke off to sob "and I was hopping that it could finally happen, that the three of us could finally have our lives back…" Elizabeth pulled her into her arms, letting her cry on her shoulder.

* * *

Jean stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind her slowly, as if in a trance. She felt so numb that she wasn't sure if she was still breathing.

She was shocked… What she had just found out… She let out a sob, feeling her entire body tremble, lying down in bed slowly. She pulled his pillow close and cried; trying to release the pain, but it was too much. She wanted to scream, but she wasn't strong enough anymore. She was so weak, so pale, but she hadn't cared… until now.

She cried for the longest time, before she pressed her hand against her stomach, her breaths coming in panted attempts. When she calmed down enough, she let herself think and still couldn't believe what she had just found out. She realized that whether she liked it or not, she had to start over, she had to change; she had to get up, take care of herself…

She tried to smile at the thought that soon, she wouldn't be so alone anymore, but tears still streamed down her face.

She was between his darkness, and a new light.

* * *

**OK, ok, I know it was so not the ending you guys were waiting for, but I wanted to make it super tragic, and I promise the sequel will be great. Please don't hate me!!**

**The sequel's name is 'Between his darkness and her light'. You'll love it! Jean will be looking for Logan, and of course she'll find him… Please review!! **

**Oh, and I'll give a cookie to the one that guesses what I mean about Jean in the last few paragraphs. ;-) Sequel's really gonna rock. **

**Notes: **

**Lacey****: Thank you so much, you have supported me since the very beginning, and I don't know if I could have made it without you. I guess you'll give me a long review on this one because I know you. Thank you so much. I'll see you next sequel. **

**Ashley Michelle Poteete****:**** I'm a little sad that you haven't reviewed. I don't like posting new chaps without your review or Lacey's review, but I know you are busy. Just review when you get the chance, your opinion really matters to me. Thank you for everything.**

**Stacy M.****: You have been so great, you review so much and I always look forward to your review as well. Hope you liked this chapter.**

**RachelAlyssa:**** I know that you are a big fan of this story and I really appreciate all your reviews! Thanks**

**Dr.Lust: ****I never heard from you again, but I want you to know that every time I posted a new chapter, I hoped that you would review. I really hope you get a chance. Thanks.  
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**All right, that's all. THANKS TO EVERYBODY!! See you next sequel… **


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